I, like millions of people in the world, suffer from anxiety. And I don't mean anxiety like i get nervous or uncomfortable in situations or when I have a lot going on, I mean sometimes completely debilitating sometimes for no reason at all anxiety. I have always been an anxious person and have received treatment for anxiety and depression many times, mostly around the time of my eating disorder. However, towards the end of my semester abroad I noticed I no longer had it under control, at all. I assumed when i got home it would become better on its own, but the opposite actually happened. I became a person I hardly recognized, always anxious and on edge feeling like I could hardly handle regular day activities without having panic attacks. I got on medication but it didn't help me be able to control my anxious thoughts at all, or get to the core of my anxiety. I was becoming a difficult person to be around, mostly because I was extremely unhappy. I got off the medication because the side effects were too harsh, and after a horrible panic attack where I felt like I had no control over my body or thoughts that landed me in the hospital I realized something needed to change. It occurred to me I was so close to letting anxiety consume my life I feared I wouldn't be able to leave my house anymore. Four months later I am slowly approaching the person I want to be and working hard every day to manage and control my anxiety to where I can almost see a future without it. Here are some things I am actively doing that I have found help me cope and control my anxiety and become a happier person in general.

1. Be ready to make a change.

Stop reading right now if you are not ready to actively play a part in becoming better. I know how easy it is to get into a negative head space and feel like nothing will help and you’re going to be stuck like this forever. But it is simply not true. You can get better if you can take that plunge and hold yourself accountable for the part you are playing in not helping yourself.

2. Start being selfish.

I realized a lot of my anxiety stems from always worrying about other people. There is nothing wrong with being selfish and worrying about yourself and only yourself for a while. As soon as I stopped feeling responsible for other people and started only focusing on myself (this took me a while and I am still working on it now) I noticed a huge difference in my anxiety and my happiness.

3. Get into therapy.

Therapy is life changing if you can find the right person for you. It is a difficult thing to admit you need help, but there is no reason to be ashamed of it, I for one think it is admirable. I didn’t find the right therapist at first and that happens a lot, and although it can be discouraging keep at it. Praises to my mother for finding a therapist that is perfect for me. I have made more progress in these two months with her than I have in years.

4. Start eating healthier.

For me, that meant going gluten free. I discovered I had a gluten allergy which can believe it or not make anxiety a hell of a whole lot worse. Now you do not have to go this extreme but taking care of your body is an essential part to taking care of your mind.

5. Exercise.

It is not easy to push yourself to the gym or outside for a run. But you will notice such a change in your mood if you start working out even 2 or 3 times a week.

6. Yoga.

I have made this part of my weekly routine, my therapist officer offers yoga and on Thursdays I go from yoga to therapy and I leave ready for the weekend and in a fantastic mood. Many places offer great student rates, if you’re a BSU student you check out The Well.

7. Choosing discomfort over resentment.

My therapist told my this in our first session and it is a mantra that has stuck with me. I am a person who can never say no, when it comes to picking up shifts, being asked to babysit or go out with friends even if I have a lot to do I always said yes. Choosing discomfort over resentment means even though saying no in that moment can be uncomfortable, you will not resent yourself or others in the future.

8. Find something to do for yourself.

For me that meant writing, doing this is something I enjoy every week and a great outlet. However, there are many other things out there like arts and crafts, painting, running, reading, singing. You will find purpose in these things and that is a rewarding feeling.

9. Stop planning, start living in the Present.

A lot of my anxiety stems from my need to plan and control things. Often times I feel I miss out on experiences because I am too busy worrying, and not enjoying. This is not an easy task and I am still working on it every day, to shut my mind off when it goes into a cycle of worrying and incessantly planning.

10. Living in the Present Books.

It sounds super cheesy but one thing that has helped me and my planning is a book my therapist recommended, The Book of Awakening, I highly encourage you to buy this book it’s ten dollars on amazon and it is incredible. It is short daily passages that will speak to you on such a deep level. Taking fifteen minutes a day to read and then reflect have made a huge difference. But there are also many other great books out there!

11. Speak up! Share your feelings.

Anxiety can often times make you think irrationally, in the past when I was angry or upset I would convince myself my feelings weren’t valid and thus entered into a vicious cycle. You never have to justify why you feel what you feel. If someone hurt me or did something I didn’t like often times I just let it go. But not letting it go, and sharing my feeling and engaging in a conversation has helped my anxiety and all together made me happier.

12. Stay organized.

One of the things that has helped me with my need to plan is staying better organized. This way I don’t find out about a test the night before and then enter into a panic. If you have your shit together and organized it takes away the need to be planning and panicking.

13. Do things in your own time.

Life is not a race. I was extremely anxious about not graduating on time, to where I was forcing myself to take six classes and I could not handle it. Once I realized there is no rush, I let go a lot of my anxiety. You don’t need to live my other people’s schedules.

14. Stop obsessing over your phone.

Living in a virtual reality all the time, or wishing you lived the life of some of these Instagram famous people is never going to help you live the life you want and cope with your anxiety.

15. Drinking responsibly.

At the peak of my anxiety, whenever I drank I would get extremely emotional and let out all the things I had been bundling up. I never had fun anymore so I stopped for a while. I still went out with my friends and maybe had a glass of wine but until I felt for comfortable I took it easy.

16. Limiting time with triggers.

It is important to notice if certain people or circumstances set off your anxiety. Once you do, you can stop putting yourself into those negative situations.

17. Being open and honest.

I found letting certain people in my life know about how bad my anxiety is lately, helped improve my anxiety. If they are people that love and support you they will be there for you.

18. Essential Oils.

Although medication works for a lot of people and combine with therapy it can be a great tool, I decided it wasn’t for me. Essential oils are all natural and have calming and stress relieving effects. I have found they help a lot.

19. Stop filling in the thought bubble.

I find myself a lot of times having conversations in my head before I have them. This can be a positive thing sometimes however it can also put you on the defensive when you do not need to be and can ultimately make you more anxious.

Although it is not an easy journey by any means, start taking responsibility for the part you are playing in your unhappiness. Slowly if you start doing some of these things for yourself you will notice improvements and you can find peace.