Ahhh, working out. You either love it or you hate it, or you use it as an excuse to jam to Missy Elliot. But who am I kidding, you never need an excuse to "lose control."
Working out used to be easy. Ever since grade school you were forced to engage in physical activity. Between running the mile and playing kickball at recess, you were always on the go. Now that we've replaced these active leisurely games with Netflix, the only exercise we get is walking to and from class and making the occasional frat lap. What can I say, these love handles won't maintain themselves, ya know.
But, on the rare occasion that I do like to venture into *dun dun dunnn* the gym, these are a few thoughts that flood my mind as tears flood my eyes and sweat floods my shirt.
1. This light jog will totally compensate for the pint of ice cream I will be consuming later.
2. Great, the models from the entire Victoria Secret catalog just showed up.
3. Now they're sitting next to me. Wow, am I lucky?!
4. I hope guys don't realize I look this bad when I'm actually wearing makeup.
5. Am I the one that smells this bad or is it the girl next to me? Na, nope, definitely me.
6. I am so hyped for yoga!
7. I can't wait to Instagram a picture of me doing yoga. Hashtag yoga hashtag fitness hashtag just kidding, I can't bend like that.
8. I swear I played sports in high school.
9. If anyone asks, I wasn't left bench.
10. That machine looks way too complicated.
11. *Ambitiously grabs heavy weights*
12. *Sheepishly returns heavy weights*
13. Sh*t, I just pulled a muscle or five.
14. I didn't even know I could hurt there.
15. Thank God for the elliptical.
16. RIP Alli Driscoll. Cause of death: the StairMaster.
17. Wow, check out that guy's muscles!!
18. *Falls off treadmill*
19. Well, looks like my work here is done.
