Dear younger me,
There's a lot of things I wish I could've told you. I know that isn't possible, but if it was, here's what I would've told you:
1. Mom is almost always right. Listen to her
I know you don't ever want to listen to her but just do it. She's right. Not always, here lately she's been telling me "I'm SO right. So she isn't always right, but for the most part, she is. So just listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.
2. Learn to pick your battles
This goes for everyone you come in contact with. You never know when the last time will be the last time you say something to someone. Don't let it be something you'll regret for the rest of your life. You don't want that weighing on you, wishing you had said something else.
3. Life is short and goes by way too fast
Live it while you can. If you don't love what you're doing, change it. If you don't love yourself, change that. Learn to love who you are and who you're around. It's important and you'll thank yourself later.
4. Do not, under any circumstance, let anyone walk all over you – especially a boy
There's a lot of pain that comes with me saying this, but just because you think you love him, it doesn't give him any right to abuse you, hurt you, walk all over you. He does NOT love you. Walk away. Walk away now. Or you will continue this cycle for the rest of your life. Same thing with friends, if they are walking all over you, they are using you. Don't let them, or anyone for that matter. Stick up for yourself.
5. Take care of yourself
By this I mean truly take care of yourself. Eat. Drink lots of water. (And not just because it'll get dad off of your back.) Relax your mind. Exercise. Don't focus on what other people want you to do or want you to be. Be who YOU want to be. If you are living to please others, how do you ever expect to be happy?
6. Don't change for anyone
I know this goes without saying, (or at least it should), but who you are is who you are and who you are is an amazing person. DO NOT let a single soul let you think differently.
7. Learn to take your own advice, don't just give it out
I know you love to give advice, whether it was asked of you or not and that's why people come to you for it, but if you don't want these things for your friends, you shouldn't want it for yourself either. Love yourself enough to know that.
8. Respect yourself
I repeat: RESPECT YOURSELF. This goes along with loving yourself. If you don't love or respect yourself, do you really expect someone else to? If you never truly love yourself, you're never going to let anyone else to fully love you or care for you the way that you deserve. One thing I know for sure in this life and that is that you deserve the very best someone has to offer. So do them the same.
9. Take chances
Take the risks you think about taking. Just do it. In 5 or 10 years you ARE going to regret the chances you didn't take. Tell the person you love that you love them. Go on spontaneous road trips.Go to concerts out of the state. Make new friends. Change your major a million times. Laugh at stupid jokes. Make sure whatever you're doing is making you happy and if it isn't, you sure as hell better be changing it. Kiss the guy. Get the tattoo. Get that job. Take the class. JUST DO IT. Whatever it may be. Do it. Risk it.
10. Eat that damn pizza or cake
I promise a pound or two here and there WILL NOT KILL YOU. Do not check the scale every day. It does not matter. The girl next to you that is constantly working out and is worried about eating that bite of pizza when you just ate a whole one, is not living and isn't going to be near as happy in an hour when she has to eat a carrot stick because shes hungry and you'll be full for another day. Take notes.
11. If you're in a relationship, cherish that person while you can
You never know when your last goodbye is going to be goodbye forever and it will probably be done over a text because he is not going to want to face you and it will be when you least expect it. So love hard. Love really hard. Cherish every single moment with them. Go on long car rides with no destination. Cuddle. Listen to that one song and belt out those lyrics. Dance with each other like there is no one else in the world. Do absolutely everything you can while you have each other.
12. You're going to be disappointed. That's life. Say or do it anyway
People are going to disappoint you. You will disappoint yourself. Have expectations anyways. Some people are going to think they know everything and say life is better without expectations, but don't listen to them. Yes, it may save you some heartbreak, but what is life without expectations?
13. Don't listen to what everyone says
You are you for a reason. They are them for a reason. Let them be them and let you be you. Just let it be. You're perfect the way you are. Don't allow anyone to try and change you. If they try to, they were never really your friend to begin with. Realize that. Realize that real quick. The sooner the better so you aren't wasting your time on people who aren't worth it.
14. You are enough
You are going to go through a lot of things. A lot of things you are going to go through kids your age would never even think about happening to them. You will not be prepared for it, but you are strong enough to get through it. I know some days you want to give up and I know it doesn't feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is and you will get through it. Mom and dad are going to hate to see you the way you are. Your friends aren't going to understand and because of that you will lose some of them, but the real ones will never leave. You're going to push people away because of your anxiety and depression. No situation will ever make you less of a person. No abuse, no grades, no boy, no friends, no anything. Nothing defines you other than you. YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST HOW YOU ARE.
15. Not everything needs to be posted on social media
I know you want to post about how pissed off you are at what your boyfriend just said to you because he's too dumb to figure out why you're upset or how crappy of a boss you have, but not everyone needs to know every detail of your life. Oh, and FYI I do not want to see how drunk you are every single weekend on your Snapchat story, so don't keep sending me multiple snaps of it. All of it really just isn't necessary.
16. Communication is key
I know you don't want to have the uncomfortable talk with your boyfriend's mom about how rude you think she is or how your roommate really should shower now because it has been 5 days now, but DO IT. You need to talk about anything that is bothering you. No, it might not be the most pleasant conversation you ever had, but you need to be honest, but be nice about it.
17. Go to class
I know college is literally NOTHING like high school and you get to pick out your schedule and what time your classes are, but go to class. Always go to class. Your parents are paying an insane amount for each class so just go. You aren't going to learn anything unless you are physically sitting in class. I know you're tired, I know school sucks, I know work wore you out last night and you didn't fall asleep until 5 am and have class at 10, but go anyway. You're in college to further your education and you can't do that if you're not there.
18. Boys are dumb. Men will treat you the way you deserve. There's a difference. Learn it
A lot of girls want to talk about how much they hate boys and how shitty they are, but that's just the problem, they are talking about BOYS. Once they stop chasing after boys and realize they need to grow up and grow into men, you will never go back, at least I hope you don't.
19. Be smart about all decisions you make, big or small
I don't care if he's the cutest guy in the grade, if he treats you like crap, don't go after him. If they're the most popular group in school trust me, popularity means ABSOLUTELY nothing and will get you nowhere in school or after school is over with. Study. That test cannot make an A on its own. That teacher gave you a study guide for a reason. Use it. Before you say something, really think about what you're about to say. This should be common sense, but believe me, you'd be surprised that it really, really isn't. Just be careful with what you say, because once you say it, it can't be unsaid. Yes, I know you're excited about your driver's license and that new car, but drive carefully. Always be mindful of others.
Enjoy your life while your young. Don't regret anything. Do the things you have always dreamed of doing. Don't miss out on the beauty that is life and the journey that is life.
P.S. look up from your phone long enough to actually enjoy what's right in front of you.