Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Politics and Activism

19 Things White People Like

Total WASP move.

Megan Murray

May 07, 2017

The University of Alabama

1417

flickr

Now, before y’all go and completely trash me on the internet for my white fragility or whatever it is (I know I’m fragile but it’s not because I’m white), just know this article is supposed to be lighthearted and fun. Now that I’ve stated the obvious, let me begin.

1.Base Tans

We get so freaking white in the winter that we actually have to work on a “base tan” so we don’t fry. You have to get tan to tan.

2. Virtue signaling

It goes something like, “Yes, I’m white, but no I’m not racist. I voted for Obama.” Most white people aren’t racist but we can always count on, like, 1% of white people to be racist enough to make us all look racist.

3. Elevated surfaces

You know the ones who do off-the-wall mess that makes you question their sanity. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the words “sky diving?” That goes for other thrill seeking nonsense like jumping off cliffs, base jumping, or anything that involves jumping off or out of things you shouldn’t... including tables, bars and chairs.

4. Running to the worst possible place in horror movies

It’s a great idea to run to the graveyard or abandoned shack when a murderous ax slinger is after you.

5. Brunch

What white person doesn’t like brunch? It’s breakfast AND lunch. It’s so sophisticated.

6. Country Music

We really love us some good ole country music. We love singing about small towns even though we grew up in country club in Florida.

7. Alternative music

We love angsty music about unrequited love by a band whose name resembles a mad lib.

8. Soccer

It’s like the only sport white people are good at. And golf.

9. Golf tournaments

I don’t know why but golf tournaments are actually really fun.

10. Pastel colors

11. Winery Tours

You bet your sweet behind I’m going on a wine tour after I get mimosas at brunch for my 21st birthday.

12. Monograms

Whoever came up with monograms lived with sisters who like to steal clothes.

13. Vineyard Vines and Lilly Pulitzer

14. Jacked up trucks

I don’t understand the allure of having a truck you have to use a step stool to get in, but my high school was full of them.

15. Old Row and TFM/TSM

Not gonna lie, I’ve sent in pics to Old Row. I can’t say any of them have made it, but I tried and that’s enough for me.

16. Shonda Rhimes’ shows

White girls live for "Grey’s Anatomy" and "Scandal." We aspire to be Meredith Grey and Olivia Pope

17. OTBTS, Birkenstocks, and Chacos

I couldn't understand why anyone with eyeballs would wear these shoes, but now I'm mourning the loss of my Chacos and looking into buying some Birks and OTBTs.

18. Mission trips to impoverished places

19. The Confederate Flag

IT'S HERITAGE NOT HATE!!!!!!!

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

12 Most Annoying Things About Working In Sales

No, I can't help you.

Oakland University

1373

Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

Keep Reading...Show less

sales

Entertainment

11 Things That Happen When You Suffer From Resting B*tch Face

It's just my face, I swear.

Christopher Newport University

663

Hercampus.com

RBF, or resting b*tch face, is a serious condition that many people suffer from worldwide. Suffers are often bombarded with daily questions such as "Are you OK?" and "Why are you so mad?" If you have RBF, you've probably had numerous people tell you to "just smile!"

While this question trend can get annoying, there are a couple of pros to having RBF.

Keep Reading...Show less

rbf

Lifestyle

16 Things Blondes Are Tired Of Hearing

Please hold your blonde joke.

Rutgers University

572

Yify

Another day, another Elle Woods comment. Can’t us blondes get through the day without someone harping at us over the typical stereotypes about who we are? I never understood why a person was judged based upon the hair color they were born with, or the hair color they choose to have (unless you dye your hair blue like Kylie Jenner, I’m still trying to understand why that’s a trend). Nevertheless, as it should be assumed, not everyone is the same. Not all blondes like bright colors and Lilly Pulitzer, and not all blondes claim to identify with Marilyn Monroe. I think the best suggestion to give to people before they make such radical claims is to stop judging a book by its cover. Or in this case, stop judging a blonde by her hair color.

Keep Reading...Show less

blonde

Entertainment

A Year At JMU As Told By 'Bob's Burgers'

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

James Madison

1828

collegian.com

A year at JMU promises many great adventures. The journey of becoming a duke and learning what being a duke is all about is really exciting and a lot of fun. Of course, we all know that James Madison University is the greatest university in Virginia (perhaps even the entire country). There are many events and moments at JMU that are cherished and remembered by all dukes.

Keep Reading...Show less

bobs burgers

Recommended for you

19 Things White People Like

Total WASP move.

1.Base Tans

2. Virtue signaling

3. Elevated surfaces

4. Running to the worst possible place in horror movies

5. Brunch

6. Country Music

7. Alternative music

8. Soccer

9. Golf tournaments

10. Pastel colors

11. Winery Tours

12. Monograms

13. Vineyard Vines and Lilly Pulitzer

14. Jacked up trucks

15. Old Row and TFM/TSM

16. Shonda Rhimes’ shows

17. OTBTS, Birkenstocks, and Chacos

18. Mission trips to impoverished places

19. The Confederate Flag

Subscribe to our Newsletter

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

Subscribe to our
Newsletter