Sitting on a Greyhound bus on my way for a weekend in Boston, which also happened to be my first big trip by myself, it hit me: the next day I would be 20 years old. No longer would "teen" follow my age when someone asked me how old I was. It was in this moment that it hit me that the 19 year old sitting on this bus might not be the same person who makes the return trip a few days later. It also hit me that the next decade of my life will most likely be the decade that defines who I will become, and what path my life will eventually take. As I was anxiously contemplating the future, I was also looking back at how far I have come in the past 19. It is my hope that all the lessons I've learned in my first two decades of life carry me not only into my twentieth year, but well beyond.
1. Life is not fair
One of the things I have come to realize is that no, life is not fair throughout the race of life there will always be people who are ahead of you and people who are behind, but none of this matters because in the end the only person you are racing is yourself.
2. Jealousy solves nothing
As I said there will always be people who seem to have it all, but being jealous or bitter will not solve anything. Use that jealousy at motivation to not only reach that persons level but also surpass it.
3. You often learn more from your failures than your successes
Although failure can often seem devastating, you can learn way more not only about life but also about yourself by failing, picking yourself up again, and starting over. (Plus victory will be that much sweeter after).
4. Laugh AS MUCH as possible
Laughter is honestly the best medicine so never be afraid to simply laugh a situation off, even at what may seem like the most inopportune moment.
5. You can come back from almost anything
No matter how much you feel your life may have gone down a few too many of the wrong rabbit holes, if you want it bad enough, you always have the option of becoming the person you want to be.
6. Care about people
It is one of the most amazing things in the world to have a big heart, and even though people may take advantage of that it is extremely important to always show love even if others are trying to take you down.
7. At the same time STOP caring
STOP caring about what people think of you. If you attempt to live your life to please others, the only one who will be unhappy is yourself. If you are happy with the person you are don't give a damn what anyone else thinks
8. DON'T be a doormat
This is one I struggle with constantly: there is a big difference between being easygoing/being a peacekeeper and being a doormat. It is important to know when a situation requires you to raise your voice, and for you to know that your voice has as much a right to be heard as anyone else's
9. Let the Haters be the Motivators
A simple truth in life is that there are going to be people who like you and there are going to be people who don't. There's honestly nothing you can do about it. Use the words of those who don't support you to help you motivate yourself to fly above (and then look down at said haters and laugh when you get there).
10. Make time for you
In a world that is in constant motion, it can often be difficult to take time for ourselves. It is so important to do things you enjoy. Watch that episode of Grey's, go for a walk, color, or even just simply take a bus to nowhere (and back again). The world will still be waiting after your me time is done
11. SING
As my role model says "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear". Sing literally anywhere and everywhere: sing in the car, the shower, to yourself, and to others because it provides a sensation of pure joy (if not for the listener at least for yourself!)
12. Don't force people to stay in your life
Some people are not meant to become permanent fixtures in our lives. People can come in like a whirlwind and change your life only to simply decide to leave, News flash: let them leave. Chances are you are better of without them.
13. Reward the people who do stay
On the other hand there are people who will stand by you through literal hell. They will support you through your low moments and celebrate with you during the highs. These people deserve to have the behavior not only remembered, but also rewarded by you doing the same thing.
14. Change is inevitable
No matter how much we all secretly wish we could attempt to be Holden Kaulfield from Catcher in the Rye, life can not be like the never changing museum exhibits. Life is constantly changing in new and unexpected ways and we as humans must learn to be adaptable as well.
15. Don't blame others for your faults
When looking at your mistakes in life it can often be easy to put the blame on someone else rather than ourselves for our own unhappiness. But truth is: we are all are own people and the only person in charge of our life decisions is ourselves.
16. Don't conform
Never change who you are. Not for society, a job, a family member, or a boy. Walk around with your red hair that some may view as "emo" and wear it proud and unapologetically.
17. Get lost
I mean this in so many ways sometimes you need to get completely and utterly lost in order to find yourself. Take a trip by yourself to the middle of nowhere, do something you never thought you would, change your mind, and change it again.
18. Don't be scared
Life does not come with a definite expiration date so it is so important to live without fear. Never leave anything unsaid or undone because no one wants to leave this world with regrets.
19. LET IT GO
Let all of it go. Your mistakes, your past, the people who have hurt you, and the words they have said. Living with hatred in your heart is close to not living at all. These things may have made you who you are today, but only you can decide your future.
So as I go into the next decade of my life I look back at how much I have learned in the past 19 years, and how they have shaped me. So yes even though 20 is scary, and even though the next decade of my life may decide a lot, if I implement the lessons I've learned I know I can be successful, and I'm sure learn a lot more lessons on my way to that success as well.
