A few weeks have past since I turned 19. Not much has changed, aside from feeling old when I think about the fact that this is my last year of teen-hood. As I sit around bored daydreaming about school, there are definitely several things I wish I had already known before turning the big 1-9. For those fellow "babies" who are not yet 19, or for those who are older and looking to reminisce, I thought what better way to share what I've learned/wish I'd learned before than the well-known Odyssey list? So, to prevent further rambling, here it is: 19 things I wish I knew before turning 19.
1. Turning 19 is the first (of many) meaningless birthdays. Unless you're Canadian, that is, then you can rejoice, as this is the equivalent of our 21st. Lucky. Here in the good ole U.S. of A., 19 doesn't mean squat. You're just a year older. If you're like me, this could also be the first birthday someone forgets about and has to be reminded (ahem, dad). Aside from 21, and then decade ages (30,40, 50, etc.), this is going to be the norm now.
2. From this year on, you'll just feel old. I get it, I'm not necessarily "old" yet, but boy, do I feel it. In a year, I will no longer be a "teen." When the kids I nanny try to get me to swim and play in the pool with them, it's a chore now. I don't know half the shows they watch. I talk more to adults at parties now than people younger than me. And it's only going to get worse from here, because I'm only going to get older. That's frightening.
3. You should probably start thinking about getting your life together. Time is only moving faster, and it might be worth starting to figure out a plan now, lest you be left in the dust. For example, if you have no idea what on Earth you want to do with your life after college, maybe it's time to brainstorm some ideas.
4. But it's still not entirely expected yet, so enjoy that. If someone asks you what exactly you plan to do with your major (a.k.a. your life) and you answer with, "I'm still not entirely sure yet," that's still socially acceptable. So, if you really have no clue what to do with yourself when you enter the real world, that's fine. Until you're 20. If you still don't, good luck and God bless.
5. Saving money is hard. Really hard. I blame the birth of online shopping (I especially blame you, Etsy). I also blame Starbucks, dues, gym memberships, food and just overall life for being expensive. I guess I'll take some of the blame for struggling with self-control. But it's mostly everything else.
6. Start investing (what little money you have) A.S.A.P. Continuing with the money theme, it's actually really wise to invest now, even if it's only a hundred bucks. The payout for starting now will be worth it down the line. If you have no idea where to start, it might be worth a call home. Or maybe just go to E-Trade. They're pretty straightforward.
7. You can't plan everything in your life. No matter how cute your Lilly Pulitzer planner is, no matter how organized and perfect your Pinterest boards are, most of the time life is going to laugh in your face and do a complete 180 from your plans. As a meticulous planner I find that both rude and annoying, but it's definitely taught me to let go of the reigns a bit. Just a bit though. I will never let go of Pinterest.
8. People are going to let you down. Whether it's as small as your best friend forgetting you liked three sugars instead of two in your coffee or as big as the person you fell in love with breaking your heart, there will be let-downs, even from people you trust. That's part of life.
9. Others won't. All the same, when one person lets you down, two step up. Those are the people that keep you going. Hold onto them. Even if it's the best friend who messed up your coffee order.
10. Don't fight change. Change is natural. Being stuck in your ways is not. Growing up involves accepting that parts of you are going to change, physically, mentally and emotionally. However, the essence of who you are will not.
11. Unless that change is someone trying to change you. This is the only "change" you should fight. No one has a right to change you. If someone doesn't like who you are and wants you to change something, even if it's something "minor," run. Minor becomes major, and eventually you'll look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. Trust me, that's no fun.
12. Sometimes, love alone isn't enough. You can love someone with all your heart, with everything you have, but even then, there's no guarantee. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be. Most of the time you have to learn this the hard way, which all around sucks.
13. Your first love is (most likely) not your last. There's a reason very few people end up with their first loves. And that's because you have no experience in love and life at all. No matter how much you believe a person is "the one," he or she probably isn't. In a time of so much growth and change, it's almost inevitable that you'll grow apart. This is also a lesson learned the hard way, and will never not hurt. Until your second love comes around. Then it's like "LOL, why was I so hung up on him/her again?"
14. It's okay to be a little selfish. Seriously, it's fine. It's okay to put yourself and your needs first. It's okay to let your world revolve (mostly) around yourself. You need to, or people will walk all over you. So be selfish.
15. The block button is not to be feared. Actually, it should be your best friend. If people are negative influences in your life (i.e. your ex, the girl he swore was just a friend, that person in your math class who you honestly might think is a sociopath), block them. I will never understand why people are so afraid of it. So what if they get pissed off? You don't have to hear about it, out of sight out of mind.
16. Neither is walking away. You can't fix everyone. You also can't wait around for people until the end of time. Even if it hurts at first, it'll hurt less than five years from now when you're still sitting around, biding your time.
17. Appreciate what you have. You're in college. You have friends, family, an education. Instead of complaining 24/7, appreciate how blessed you really are.
18. If you want more, you're going to have to work and work hard. If you want more out of life, you better be prepared to work your butt off. From here on out, nothing is going to come easy. You won't have handouts like the $200 Grandma slips you whenever she sees you forever. Better to get in the habit of working now than be stuck later.
19. No matter how rough things get, choose happiness. There's nothing worse than a jaded almost 20-year-old. Seriously, those people kind of suck. Life is tough, but there's always a silver lining. If you choose to find it rather than dwell in the darkness, you're going to live a much more fulfilling life.
All of these lessons have been a blessing. Yes, they would've been wonderful to learn much sooner than 19, but at least I know them now. The last thing I would want is to be that 22-year-old who still hasn't started growing up. How embarrassing. Oh well, better late than never.
