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19 Signs You Are Winston Bishop

“Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C. We release the bear in the restaurant right as they’re about to order dessert.”

Morgan Moe

Mar 20, 2017

University of Wisconsin Green Bay

132

Bustle

No matter who you are or if you've ever watched the show "New Girl",I feel that anyone can relate to Winston Bishop in any given situation:

1. When You Try to Convince Your Friends That You're Musically Cultured:

2. You've Got Your Priorities Straight:

3. This Is Your Response When You Get Into The Car With Your Best Friend:

4. You're Very Protective of Your Personal Belongings No Matter What It Is:

5. When You've Been Single for a Little Too Long:

6. Your Private Concerts in the Car Are Your Favorite Time of the Day:

7. When You've Had a Few Too Many Plus You're Sleep Deprived and You Start Getting Philosophical:

8. Is Sharing Really Caring?

9. When You're Friends Ask You to Proof-Read Their Research Paper:

10. This is How You Talk to Your Pets When You're Alone:

11. Sleep is Your Favorite Part of the Day:

12. You're Either Too Much With Your Pranks...

13. Or Too Little...

14. But Either Way, You Still Think You're the GOAT When it Comes to Pranks:

15. You Self-Diagnose Yourself from WebMD:

16. Your Karaoke Skills are on Point:

17. When You've Only Had One Drink:

18. Bubble Baths Are Your Favorite:

19. You try to be there as best you can for your friends and family:

If you found almost all these things to be relevant to your daily life... you're a Winston Bishop.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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19 Signs You Are Winston Bishop

“Or we could break into a zoo, steal a bear, then we shoot the bear full of Hep C. We release the bear in the restaurant right as they’re about to order dessert.”

1. When You Try to Convince Your Friends That You're Musically Cultured:

2. You've Got Your Priorities Straight:

3. This Is Your Response When You Get Into The Car With Your Best Friend:

4. You're Very Protective of Your Personal Belongings No Matter What It Is:

5. When You've Been Single for a Little Too Long:

6. Your Private Concerts in the Car Are Your Favorite Time of the Day:

7. When You've Had a Few Too Many Plus You're Sleep Deprived and You Start Getting Philosophical:

8. Is Sharing Really Caring?

9. When You're Friends Ask You to Proof-Read Their Research Paper:

10. This is How You Talk to Your Pets When You're Alone:

11. Sleep is Your Favorite Part of the Day:

12. You're Either Too Much With Your Pranks...

13. Or Too Little...

14. But Either Way, You Still Think You're the GOAT When it Comes to Pranks:

15. You Self-Diagnose Yourself from WebMD:

16. Your Karaoke Skills are on Point:

17. When You've Only Had One Drink:

18. Bubble Baths Are Your Favorite:

19. You try to be there as best you can for your friends and family:

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Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

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