I love Starbucks. It’s to the point where I refuse to drink coffee from Dunkin Donuts because Starbucks is so evidently superior.
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A sorority girl who loves Starbucks? So basic, am I right?
No. I abhor the taste of regular milk, and Starbucks is the only easily accessible chain coffee place that offers soy milk as an option for its artisanal beverages. Starbucks has come to be associated with basic-ness, a characterization which I find unfair. I know I’m not basic, and it’s possible that girls across the nation have been falsely labeling themselves as “basic” just because they enjoy a caramel macchiato every once in a while. If you’re basic, keep doing you. If you aren’t sure, here are some signs that you might not be as basic as you thought you were:
- Pumpkin spice doesn’t really do much for you. Like, it’s fine, but you prefer your coffee to taste like coffee. And since when are pumpkins spicy, anyway?
- Neither does Lilly Pulitzer. Does Lilly have one L or two? Why is everything so brightly colored? Why did I just see three different girls wearing the exact same polychromatic dress? Why do these planners cost $30?
3. Even in middle school, you never owned a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit.
4. Your friends have threatened to disown you because you’ve never seen The Hills, Laguna Beach, Sex in the City, or Grey’s Anatomy. Forensic Files all the way.
5. You’ve had to stop someone mid-conversation to ask who Lauren Conrad is.
6. You cringe at the idea that someone out there thinks Nicholas Sparks books are part of the modern literary canon.
7. People are constantly commenting on your style – “I love your outfit, but I could never pull that off.”
8. You have never owned and will never own a pair of Hunter boots.
9. You have never owned and will never own a Michael Kors watch.
10. You have never had and will never have fake nails.
11. The one time you tried to paint your nails yourself, you ended up with nail polish all over the floor and practically had to bathe in nail polish remover.
12. Sephora is basically your eight circle of hell. What’s highlighter? What’s a contour? Why are there 4000 different types of eye shadow brushes? Why do people draw their eyebrows? Mom, where are you?
13. You just don’t get the hype about fall. Every season has its ups and downs, so what makes fall better than all the other ones? Besides, fall just means that winter is next, and let’s face it: winter is the worst.
14. No matter how hard you try, you cannot figure out why Pinterest is so popular. Food you’ll never make, workouts you’ll never do, places you’ll never go – it’s a breeding ground for dejection.
15. And forget about crafting. You should love it, but you don’t. It seems like a lot of work with very little reward.
16. You’re not especially attracted to Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum.
17. You don’t care about brunch.
18. You don’t understand why people are so obsessed with Beyonce.
19. People seem to think you’re “cool” and “trendy,” and whether it’s true or not, you know how to rock it. Keep doing you, fellow non-basics!
