19 Things Everyone From Maryville Knows Too Well | The Odyssey Online
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19 Things Everyone From Maryville Knows Too Well

Are we meeting at the New Walmart or the Old Walmart?

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19 Things Everyone From Maryville Knows Too Well

Chances are if you're not from East Tennessee, you've probably never heard of Maryville. Maryville is a little town in Blount County right outside of Knoxville and right at the foothills of the Smoky Mountains. With a population of nearly 125,000 people, Maryville isn't technically one of the smallest areas, but if you're from there, you know our size doesn't have any effect on our small town mentality. Here are 19 things everyone from Maryville knows to be true.

1. The New Walmart will always be the New Walmart even though it opened in 2006.

The Alcoa Walmart is the Old Walmart, Maryville Walmart is the New Walmart. Simple.

2. Question: "What do you do for fun here?"

Answer: "We go to Knoxville."

3. Every time you bring a friend home you have to take them to Osaka.

The lime green walls make everyone feel right at home.

SEE ALSO:27 Things You've Said If You're The Mom Friend

4. Telling someone your last name and getting the, "Are you kin to so-and-so?" question.

The answer is usually yes. Or even if it isn't, we'll just pretend to know what you're talking about.

5. Everyone knows Richy Kreme > Krispy Kreme.

But make sure to get 'em while they're hot.

6. Telling everyone you're from Knoxville because no one ever knows where Maryville is.

"I'm from Maryville." "Where?" "Right outside of Knoxville." "Ohhhh! Go Vols, right?"

7. You know it's officially summer when the sketchy mall parking lot carnival comes to town.

Is it safe? Probably not. Are you gonna go? Well, yeah.

8. Occasionally we make headlines, and when we do, we do it big.

Don't ask us to explain this, because we are just as confused as you are.

9. You try to avoid turning left at the Alcoa Walmart red light because you know you're going to sit there for 20 minutes.


10. You probably took prom pictures at Maryville College.

Or Allison's Catfish. Or the airport Hilton.

11. And after taking those pictures you probably headed to Aubrey's.

It's the only nice affordable restaurant in town, so naturally everyone ends up there for everything.

SEE ALSO:8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

12. You've learned how to hide from people you know every time you go to the mall.

Or the movies. Or Chick-Fil-A. Or Walmart.

13. Every Friday night means hanging out at Cookout, Sonic, Taco Bell, or IHOP.

Or if you're feeling hipster-y, maybe Vienna Coffee House.

14. The City vs. County debate that ensues every time Blount County Schools are called off for snow.

Yes, the County schools get out for a couple of flurries, but there are actual mountains in the school district, OK?

15. Before it was called off, you knew everyone in Blount County would be at the Fall Festival on the second weekend of October.

RIP Fall Festival. You, and your ribbon fries, will be sorely missed.

16. Going up to Foothills Parkway to catch the view from Top of the World.

When all else fails, head up to the Parkway.

17. Meeting someone who has never been to Dollywood is truly shocking.

You mean you don't have a season pass? What did your school do for field trips?

18. The Walmart parking lot is always a good place to meet up if you're carpooling anywhere.

Yes, Paris. Yes, we do.

SEE ALSO: 5 Reasons You Should Date The Girl Who Goes To The Bar Alone

19. Even though everyone hates it here, no one ever leaves.

Yeah, the Chick-Fil-A line is always too long, and yeah maybe Foothills Mall isn't as great as West Town, but hey it's home, and no matter how much we say we hate it, something always keeps us coming back.

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