1. Don't trust the fart
Listen. Sometimes you may be confident. Don't be. Especially if you are on antibiotics.
2. But don't be afraid to let it rip
My best friend and first became friends getting ready in a locker room in which she showed me her talent of pulling her thong straps over her shoulders and I laughed so hard I farted. Now, we are attached at the hip.
3. Be straightforward
Nothing is worse than someone finding out you like them from a third party. This isn't middle school; bite the bullet and be brave. It's better to know the truth than to sulk in what-ifs.
4. Wash your makeup brushes
It's time consuming and annoyingly tedious, but it will save you from outbreaks and make you feel like you have your life together.
5. Capture every moment
Make sure your phone or camera is fully charged, and snap a pic wherever you are. Some pictures of your friends may even be great blackmail evidence or birthday posts later down the road.
6. But still be present in the moment
Facebook feeds and Instagram pictures will still be there to like after dinner. Put your phone down and have a conversations like a human please and thank you.
7. Don't take off your heels until you get home
Warning: The floor of bars are stickier than they appear.
8. If you eat at the dining hall, make sure you have Pepto
Yikes
9. Take time for yourself
It's so easy to get caught up in pleasing everyone else. Fight the FOMO and have a minute to yourself to decompress and reflect.
10. Step out of your comfort zone
Two weeks ago, I did Karaoke for the first time. I sung Bed Rock in the middle of a bar with 75+ people, and got a standing ovation. Take the risk; it's worth it.
11. Chill on the Netflix
I love me some Netflix, but I also love me some A's on my transcript. Write the paper first, and then binge watch Shameless.
12. Eat your broccoli
Or, roll it up like D.R.A.M.
13. Always bring deodorant
Stress sweat is real, and I live in Florida. Deodorant is a gift from God to all the people around me.
14. Make an effort to maintain relationships
Keeping friendships strong is really hard and time consuming, but so well worth it. Don't let your loved ones slip through your fingers, you'll regret it later.
15. Midnight Taco Bell should always be yes
Triple crunch wrap supreme with a frozen Baja Blast, please.
16. Call your grandparents
My grandmother is deaf and no matter what I was on the phone she responds "oh, okay", but I know she still appreciates the effort.
17. Save greeting cards
I started keeping cards that were sent to me since I was 15. They are awesome to look back on, especially when you find money in them.
18. Be spontaneous
Too often I get caught up in my color coated calendar. Take a trip to a random new place; if you're in Florida, I suggest the oddly placed alligator petting zoos at orange stands on the side of the road.
19. Smile, but more importantly, make others smile
The best compliment I've ever gotten was given to me by my recruitment counselor. She sat me down, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Abbie, the sun shines out of your asshole." Make the sun shine from all your orifices.
