How much can a 19 year old really know or understand? ...Not much, I'll tell you that. I find myself learning something new every minute of every day. My interactions with different individuals has helped to develop my intelligence in so many ways. It has allowed me to know so much about the world and all the people in it. I love people. I love talking to, interacting with, reading about, writing about, learning with, people. In my (roughly) 6,950 days here on Earth, I have also learned a great deal about myself. I have faced what some might call "minor setbacks," "tough situations," "a real pickle" etc. After overcoming these adversities and still continuing to do so, I have learned that these circumstances brought me to who I am today. While I know I will be enhancing my knowledge for the rest of my life, I thought I would still share a few lessons that I have learned in my short 19 trips around the sun.
1. Being in a relationship is not of utmost importance.
Since I graduated high school (a whole 8 months ago, whoopee) I have realized that being in a relationship while in high school was not as important as everyone made it seem. My 16-year old-sophomore-self thought it was the end of the world that I did not have a boyfriend. To me, it felt like everyone and their mother had a boyfriend especially when it got to be junior and senior year. But looking back, I am actually so glad that I didn't. Dances were a blast, my grades were great and I was focused and driven (not saying that you can't be with a boyfriend, but you know where I'm coming from). I mean I really could not have asked for anything more. Now that I have entered college I am working on getting to know myself. And until I learn about who I am and where I am headed, I'll probably be single for a while longer, and I have grown to be okay with that. I have discovered more about myself in these last few months of college than I ever would have thought and I can't wait for what else is to come. I feel as though being in a new place with brand new people makes it difficult to also dedicate time to another person. So, if you're not in a relationship and you're sad about it, don't be. Get to know you! Chances are you're pretty great.
2. People disagree.
It's human nature. No matter how badly you want someone to see eye to eye with you on certain issues there is more often than not no way to persuade them. And that is perfectly and 100 percent fine. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and everyone believes their opinion is correct so persuading someone otherwise is quite the task. Do not be discouraged if someone does not agree. Pick your battles because not everything is worth fighting about.
3. Enjoy the little things.
Life is full of little blessings. The excellent cup of coffee you drank on the way to class or work, the fact that you finished a really good book or when you look good in a picture; celebrate it all. It is so worth it. It makes life so much more enjoyable.
4. Other people's opinions of you are not worth worrying about.
Live how you please. Make your decisions. Stop living to please others. If you are a high school student reading please continue to do so because I have some words of wisdom (I hate calling it that because I am in no way wise but please keep reading). High school ends. Believe it or not, some of the people you see every single day will never lay eyes on you again after graduation. In high school, I was always concerned with what every single person thought of me. I have realized though, that instead of being so caught up in everyone's opinions I forgot to have fun sometimes. High school is a blast if you surround yourself with the right people. The right people will allow you to be yourself and they will join in on that.
5. Stepping outside your comfort zone will often result in success.
And if it doesn't that's okay. The important part of stepping out of your comfort zone is that you did it. Join a club, talk to that cute boy in your biology class, study abroad, whatever it is, I hope you do it. I am still learning how to do this, but I am now aware of its importance. A lot of good things come from doing things like this. For example, if you would have told me that I was going to join a sorority in college I most likely would have laughed in your face, but here I am. And so far, it is the best choice I made in college thus far. It really is worth trying new things because even if it doesn't work out, you learned something in the process.
6. Crying is okay.
Whether you are crying about Jim telling Pam that he loves her or because someone you love passed away, it is okay. Crying is cathartic. Crying provides a psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions, whether it be happiness or debilitating sadness. Crying is normal. Allow for your body to do that, it is so important.
7. 99.99 percent of the time your parents are right.
I'm no math wizard, but I am pretty sure there is research to back that statement up. That time your so called "best friend" did not invite you to a social gathering, and you tried giving them the benefit of the doubt, but your mom told you that they weren't a true friend... she was right. Do not forget, your parents were once in high school, college, love, etc. and they know better than anyone what it all feels like. Even if you disagree, hear them out. They have valuable information and advice to give, and one day it most certainly will come in handy.
8. Go with your gut.
Whether it's deciding on a college or if you should leave a party, your gut is right. Your instincts are correct. Listen, do not ignore them. Trust me on this one.
9. Find time for your friends and family.
These are the folks that free you from the stresses of your day to day life. Keep them close to your heart.
10. Friendship is a two-way street.
More recently, I have discovered this lesson. The effort put into a friendship is similar to the effort put into a romantic relationship. A friendship takes work, but if one person is not willing to do their part then that is not a true friendship. A great quote I read recently stated, "Friendship is like a bank account, you cannot continue to withdraw without making a deposit." I stand by this wholeheartedly.
11. You cannot expect people to do for you what you would do for them.
This is another lesson I have learned recently. It's life. Not everyone thinks like you do. Sometimes, people are not who you expected. They surprise you in how they react to certain situations. There are people in this world who would drop everything to help someone they love, and unfortunately sometimes those thoughtful individuals are friends with people who would not lift a finger unless they somehow would benefit from the action. The people who manipulate others to advance further in life are the people to cut out of your life (unless you're into manipulation and/or complete asshats).
12. Contrary to popular belief, this world is full of some pretty extraordinary people.
Get to know them. Do not restrict yourself to only a select few people. Travel and meet new people. Learn about people who are different from you, people who grew up, speak, live, love and laugh differently than you. It is worth it. It excites me to know that there are so many people that I have yet to meet that will impact my life in some way.
13. Live in the moment.
Everything you see or do does not need to go in a Snapchat story. While I am a huge fan sharing adventures and what not, some things are better kept to yourself. I know for a fact that most people won't remember it next week and in all honesty, I am convinced that most people do not actually watch them. Enjoy your time with friends and family, document it but limit yourself. Do not center your quality time around capturing every moment in a picture or video. Some moments are left better as memories. Also it's important to take life one day at a time. Try not to look too far into the future or dwell heavily on the past. Worrying about what "might have" or "could have" will drive you crazy. Let life happen.
14. Give a good hug.
Hugs are comforting, welcoming, warm and just all around awesome. There is nothing like a good hug. Hug your mom, dad, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings because honestly the day you realize you can't anymore will be the day you wish you could more than ever before. Hug often.
15. Not everyone sticks around for the long haul.
Something else that is okay. It hurts, it's hard to deal with, not easy to accept, but it happens. People leave. Friends choose other friends. Boyfriends fall in love with other girls. Family move away. Some people just lose touch. This has been one toughest lessons I have had to learn but it's one that is crucial to come to terms with because if not you will spend a vast majority of your time wondering if there was something you could have done to make them stay. I'll save you some time and give you the answer: there wasn't.
16. You find out who your real friends are in your darkest days.
Sometimes tragedy has to strike for true friends to reveal themselves. You realize that the people who call you, ask how you are or check in are the ones who care. Friends who are willing to go the extra mile are friends you should keep around. In times of despair people I never even expected were there for me. And people I thought for sure would be there too... weren't. It's often times hard to distinguish real from fake, but when you find yourself in times of trouble look around to see the people who stick by your side. Those are the people you want stay close to.
17. Keep promises.
Doing what I say I am going to do is something I have learned to truly value. As I have grown older, I have realized how touched or appreciative I am when someone is true to their word. I have a lot of respect for people who are honest. If you can't do it, simply say so. Most would appreciate the truth rather than being let down after having false hope in someone. Disappointment is one of the worst feelings so try in your power to avoid being the cause of it.
18. Knowledge is power.
The more you know the more you know, simple as that. Read often, keep up to date with current events, study, LEARN. You can never know too much. Educate yourself. We live in a world where answers to almost any question can be found with the touch or tap of a button. Utilize it. It is there for a reason.
19. Seek beauty in all things, especially yourself.
This last lesson I think I still struggle with more often than not. Looking for the beauty in everything makes for a much happier life. Finding the beauty in yourself is easier said than done, but when you do it makes for something magical. This is something I am working on currently, because I think to love anyone I have to first love myself. I want to discover things about myself I never knew and dedicate time to finding the beauty in every thought and idea I have. I have never understood why it is so simple to find beauty in other people but not nearly as easy to find beauty in oneself. But I plan to continue my soul searching so that it is.
