"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
The word "lady" is not used as widely as it used to be. When I hear the world lady, I picture a stereotypical 1950's housewife. The woman whose hair was always done. Trotting around with her dress and heels, doing housework and cooking. The stereotypical housewife,however, is almost something of the past ever since the mid1970's with the introduction of the working woman. Within the last 40 years, women have made leaps and bounds. The fight will not be complete until there is gender equality across the broad.
Though this sounds like my feminist rant, which there is nothing wrong with,that is not my main point here. I have been fixated on the word lady. What is means? What it meant to be in the past? What it means to "be a lady" now? Is that phrase still relevant? If it is still relevant, how could it be a positive phrase instead of another negative connotation used to bash each other any chance we get. I intend to try to answer these questions in the weeks/months to come. At this time, I want to mention 20 other descriptions I would rather be called than a lady.
1. Respectable
Respect is earned not demanded, however it is a quality I hold with pride. Respect is essentially an admiration for someone dependent upon ones abilities or qualities. I don't want to be qualified by my gender when I earned a college degree and am capable of a multitude of things.
2. Honest
Honesty is something we need more of in this world. Honest, much like common sense, has disappeared by the way side. Honesty is a trait everyone should hold near and dear to their hearts. You would not want someone to lie to you, so why lie to others? Being known as an honest person says a great deal about someones character. I would much rather prefer someone be able to identify that I am a honest person rather than a lady.
3. Independent
Probably one of the most important traits to myself. The misconception of being a lady leads to the image of a rather submissive lifestyle. A life endowed to the father or husband. I'm not about that at all. I refuse and rebuke that image. I am my own person and I will be damned if someone thinks I am not. My entire life I have strived for being self-sufficient and independent. I want to be able to figure life out on my own. I am not saying I will not have help nor that I will accept help, but being independent matters more to me than the classification of a lady.
4. Responsible
We are broken in at a young age of responsibilities such as chores, managing cars, bills, and hygiene. Being responsible not only illustrates that others can depend on you, but that you are skilled enough to be able to manage what is required of you.
5. Intelligent
I pride myself on my intellectual capabilities as I am sure many others do. Intelligences is a trait that we all in some way have. Some people are intelligent in a multitude of categories whilst others pride themselves on one or two attributes. Whether it is one area or 65, intelligence is something I value more over a stereotype.
6. Opinionated
Anyone that knows me well knows that I will tell you my opinion in a heartbeat if asked. I am not saying that my opinion is the only one that matters, because it is simply not true. I firmly believe that this world needs free flowing opinions. Opinions allow us to think. If you don't have opinions you aren't thinking hard enough. I am not saying you have to have an opinion on every single matter because one would go mad and probably be instituted if that were the case.
7. Witty
This characteristic blends in with the last a tad. Witty by definition is "quick and inventive verbal humor". I'm calling all my sarcastic women right now! A healthy dose of sarcasm is not only acceptable but I see necessary. Being witty not only stems off of your capability to think on your feet at a accelerated rate but also branches off of your creativity. Wit is essentally two traits in one, humor and creativity. A two for one or a BOGO sale, whichever way you view it, being witty is a title I am proud to have.
8. Mindful
This a term I am relatively new to. I was introduced to this trait by my first semester Anatomy and Physiology teacher. Mindfulness is defined as "a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique." This is not a trait acquired over night. This is a trait that has to be worked at and is not the easiest. Mindfulness is split into two divisions. The first of which is yourself. Being aware of your body, your actions, your words. Being present as often as you can. This sounds a little self conscious but without the negative affects. Just noting your breathing patterns is important. This can aid with anxiety or any other adverse behaviors. There are a wide array of videos on Youtube that can walk you through mediations, sleeping aids, and so on.
The other part is, well, others. Being aware of body language, predicting their feelings and or actions to a situation, and their actual responses are crucial for any field, any job, any life experience. Even though some of us don't like to interact with other humans, being aware and able to decipher these things about others or ourselves is critical and worth more than a stereotype.
9. Well-Read
This one is a rather simple task. Stay informed about what is taking place in your bubble and even outside your bubble. It is important to branch your knowledge past formal education. This world is a vast library, so read it.
10. Inquisitive
Inquisitive is a side effect of wanting to learn. One of the most common pieces of my academic career has been if you don't understand something ask. If you want to learn more, ask questions. It is as simple as that.
11. Considerate
Another common sense trait and something we need more of in this world. You don't know what the classmate sitting next to you has gone through and you don't know how they may react. This does not mean walk on egg shells, I am simply saying be considerate. Be kind and spread love. I would much rather be known as a compassionate and loving person than prim and proper.
12. Learner
I may be repeating myself but as a left brained person, learning is critical. I love learning. I love expanding my world outside of my microscopic bubble.That does not mean that I love academia cause at this point it may cause more harm than good. I feel that one of the greatest things you can be in this world is a learner. That is why books, documentaries, and most importantly Google exists, to provide resources in order for us to learn.
13. Traveler
Even though I am currently writing in an airport with a three hour delayed flight, I have an unrequited love to travel. In this world, I want to gain as many experiences as I can. One of the best ways to do it, travel. Go places. Get out of your comfort zone. See how other cultures function. How people act. I would rather have the title of traveler than a stereotype.
14. Determined
Setting your mind to something and running with it. Devotion to get something done and getting it done because you are devoted to the task not because you just want the task to be over.
15.Thorough
Teachers always warn you in school that even if you get your work done fast, or you turn your test in first, doesn't mean that you are smarter or got a higher grade. In most cases it turns out to be the opposite.Being through, checking and correcting mistakes. Being thorough takes patience. You have to be willing to take the time to be introspective, to learn from past occurrences.
16. Creator
Being creative I think is one of the best gifts we have been given in this life. Knowing that you are making something that is going to impact another person, even if it is just one person, is an undescribable feeling. That is why I write. I write to create. I write to share. I write to advise. I write to connect. Creating whether it is art, music, writing, a business; creating brings us together. I would rather by creative acts be attributed to me than an outdated stereotype.
17. Activist
We all have a cause we stand up for. We all have that one subject that just sets a fire in us. Stand up for what you believe. Whether it be gender equality, marriage equality, guns, health, education, diseases, research, for cartoons to be on unlimited reruns, you name it! If it is a passion of yours, stand up, speak up.
18. Leader
The thing that bothers me the most about this outdated stereotype is the chains keeping a woman in this bubble where she has to dress and act a certain way. A woman couldn't speak up. She couldn't advance anywhere. That is not the case now and I pray that I NEVER see a time where society reverts back to that. I was born to lead. In some way, shape, or form. Women are built to lead. I firmly believe it.
I believe there are so many other things I can be other than a lady. At least a lady based of the old, tired, worn-out stereotype. I am sick of stereotypes. Stereotypes lead to prejudice and the last thing this world needs is more prejudice. Welcome to 2017, the year to spread kindness and love and stop hate and inequality.
