This Sunday, August 25th, I will officially be an adult (and a college freshman). Over the past few weeks of shopping, ordering, packing and stressing, I've had some time to reminisce on my childhood and the things I've experienced, and more importantly, all the lessons I've learned. This is by no means a complete list of all that I've learned in my 567,648,000 seconds of life, but, here are 18 valuable things I've learned:
1. You need to be your first priority
It's next to impossible to fully commit yourself to a friend, a partner or a job if you can't meet your own needs first. Valuing another person deeply does not mean you should value yourself any less, and in fact, investing in a relationship with yourself will bring you more joy in other parts of your life.
2. You deserve good things
You deserve credit for something you worked hard on, you deserve to feel proud of a good grade that you studied a lot for and you deserve to find happiness. And experiencing a lot of good doesn't mean you're about to experience a lot of bad. You are worthy of nice things.
3. There's nothing wrong with asking questions
Let me dispel a myth really quickly: asking questions is not a sign of weakness. I used to struggle with this a lot when I was younger. Being curious, wanting to know more and needing more instruction are all perfectly normal and very much allowed. Knowledge is power.
4. Don't make impulsive decisions
Obviously, if you're at the grocery store and decide you want an apple, buy an apple. But, if you're deciding the color to paint your room or the haircut to get or the phone to get, you should probably spend more than 10 seconds thinking about it. A good rule for these big decisions: sleep on it.
5. Think before you speak (or act)
I know this is kind of banal, but it's an incredibly important lesson that I don't think enough people have learned. In choosing to use your brain for even just 5 seconds before saying or doing something, you could potentially save someone's feelings or yourself from embarrassment.
6. You're allowed to feel your emotions
Cry when you feel sad, yell when you feel angry and smile when you feel happy. Though the expression of emotion varies from person to person, everyone has the right to feel and express their emotions. Similarly, don't make other people feel bad for having their emotions. We're not robots.
7. Google is a fantastic resource
Of course, this comes with a caveat: check your sources! However, Google is an amazing resource and I probably wouldn't understand Bitcoin or how to convert a file into a PDF without it. Please, use Google much more often and stop asking your mother how to use Pages.
8. Me time is important
I cannot stress this enough: self-care is very important. Just taking 20 minutes for yourself to watch something on Youtube, go for a walk, meditate or any other activity you like has saved me from quite possibly 100s of mental breakdowns. The rest of your life improves when you care for yourself.
9. Not everything can go in the garbage disposal
When I was little, I thought the garbage disposal was both magical and horrifying. I mean, it just seems to kind of eat any rinds or scraps of leftover food. However, banana peels cannot and should not go down the garbage disposal and I'm sorry, mom.
10. Everything is going to be okay
As an anxious person who loves to catastrophize, I am always expecting the worst case scenario to play out and my life to be ruined. But after 18 years of overthinking and worrying about things that end up just fine in the end, I am left with this precept: prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
11. Appreciate your parents
My parents have made countless physical, mental and financial sacrifices for me, and I don't think there will ever be words strong enough to thank them for giving me all that I have and for keeping me alive for almost two decades. It's incredible they still want me around after all of the obnoxious antics I have partaken in over the years.
12. You can't please everyone
No matter how hard you try, there is always going to be someone who doesn't like you or what you're doing. Do things that make you happy, and don't base your happiness on other people and their reactions to you. Despite this inability to get everyone to like you and your actions, you will always end up finding support.
13. Be generous when possible
I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around and if you put good out, you will get good back. When possible, give a little extra. Whether that be comforting a friend, calling a relative or donating to a charity, never hesitate to give what you can.
14. Learn to love the skin you're in
We live in a world of judgements and comparisons, and we're inundated with unrealistic images and impossible standards. It's hard to look at yourself in a positive light in the face of all this. But, it's important to stay mindful that your body works to serve you and that none of these negativities ultimately matter. You are wonderful in any size, shape or color.
15. Go to bed early sometimes
Seriously. Put your phone away and try to get to bed by 9pm. A good night's sleep is vital to your mood and functioning.
16. Fill your life with good things
Good family, friends, pets, hobbies, interests and more are all important for a happy, healthy life. Though unpleasant experiences are never completely avoidable, try to fill your days with what brings you joy. And this brings me to my next lesson learned...
17. You can say no
You have the right to decline. You may feel like you're doing a lot of damage by cutting people out of your life or turning down events to spend time alone, but truthfully, you're promoting a lot of healing within yourself by taking out toxicity. You have a voice, and you're allowed to use it to say no.
18. At the end of the day, you are left with yourself
People in your life will come and go, but you are stuck with yourself from birth until death. The only person you can completely rely on all the time is you. When you go to sleep at night, you have to be okay with yourself, and what you did and said. Your own opinion about yourself is the most important one you have.
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