As a female INTJ, I am qualified to say that we aren't your average Joe or Jane. On one side, we are rational, logical, structured people with very little room for nonsense and impracticality. At the same time, we can be some of the deepest feeling, relational, and idealistic beings you've ever come in contact with. We are veritable enigmas; perfectly pleasant to some people, and overly straightforward with others. For some, this seemingly paradoxical experience can be difficult to understand, and rightly so. In order to aid the public, I've compiled 18 things to avoid when dealing with an INTJ. We're really pleasant people, as long as you're competent, interesting, and logical! Enjoy, INTJs and non-INTJs alike!
1. Small talk
It’s far more interesting to know if you would rather fly or be invisible (and why), or your thoughts on interplanetary space travel. Let’s brainstorm what kind of spaceship would be propelled fastest, not talk about what kind of brownie you ate at lunch.
2. Explaining all the unnecessary details of a story
Often, we’ve already gotten to the point of your sentence before you do.
3. Doing something without a clear goal
This is why ‘just driving around’ is not acceptable for us. Where are we going? How far is it? What route are we going to take? How long will it take to get back? Don’t blame us for being practical and saving you an emergency phone call.
4. Illogical presumptions
Don’t pretend to know anything about us (or anything else for that matter), especially if you’re not going to use logic.
5. Teams and group activities
Every time we hear the words ‘get into groups’ a little piece of us dies inside. Please don’t make my grade count on the person sitting next to me; they aren’t qualified for that.
6. Overly emotional people
This is part of the reason we cannot watch romantic dramas without criticizing. Titanic, for example: If Rose had just gotten on the boat when she was supposed to, Jack would probably still be alive. Instead, she was unnecessarily emotional and is probably responsible for his death.
7. When people point out your flaws or problems, which you already know
Despite our seemingly blown-out-of-proportion arrogance, we have a deep understanding of our own flaws, and more than not, are already on our way to fixing them. We don’t need you to point them out. In fact, you are probably the least qualified person to be doing so. Stop it.
8. Interruptions of any sort
It took us quite a journey to get on this train of thought, and an interruption is sure to cause a major derailment. So unless the house is on fire, please either send us an email, or don’t bother us until we approach you.
9. When people are chronically late
I’ve already been here for ten minutes before starting time; I’m not too happy about waiting another ten for you to arrive.
10. Incompetent authority
There is nothing worse than being under the control of someone who has no idea what they’re doing. It’s like forcing Sherlock Holmes to watch Watson solve a case without him.
11. Unnecessary rules
This does not need an explanation. If it's unnecessary, toss it.
12. When people don’t understand your sarcasm is sarcasm
We end up coming off much more macabre and dark than we actually are, when in reality, it was just a joke.
13. When people ask you opinion and then get offended by it
If you wanted a sweet-sounding lie, you’re asking the wrong personality type.
14. Inefficient systems
Why would you not choose the most efficient way to do something? Do you just like your life to be difficult?
15. Seeing a problem and not being able to fix it
LET US FIX IT. PLEASE.
16. Having to explain your thought process
#1 you probably wouldn’t understand it, and #2 there is no reason not to just trust me on this one. And all subsequent ones. Just trust me.
17. Random people, who try to hug you first time you meet them
This one is probably the most annoying… just why?
18. Being mistaken for heartless robots
Just because we don’t express emotions very well, doesn’t mean we do not experience them. It takes us a lot of alone time to understand what we are feeling. We truly care about those close to us, even if we don’t tell you all the time; our lives wouldn’t be the same without our close friends and family.
If you have an INTJ in your life, please have patience with us, we're trying harder than you think! The more you understand about us, the easier it will be to get along. Or get out of the way. Either one works, really.
