This Christmas, my Aunt got me a book that I've been dying to own since the moment it's release was announced. This book is titled "Eighteen Years" and it's by one of my all time favorite poets, Madisen Kuhn . I've been following Madisen Kuhn and her poetry for quite some time. It started with seeing her poem "Who Are You Really?" After reading it, I found myself re-reading it over and over and over. The way the words would float from stanza to stanza. Or the way the words tied together one big picture–a picture that many people fail to see. When you read one of Madisen Kuhn's poems, it's reading your feelings in a series of words that you could never find yourself able to put together. She captures beautifully what it's like to journey through love, loss, figuring out who you are and finding your way through life. Her poems are real and full of raw emotion. And you can't help but feel inspired by her work. And while I just received this book yesterday, I've already read through it twice. Here are a few of my favorite poems from "Eighteen Years!"
1. favorites
ask me who my favorite artists are
ask me what my favorite season is
ask me where my favorite memories lie
ask me where I’d love to go,
what I’d love to see,
why I cut my hair the way I do,
who I desire to be
I want you to ask me these things
because perhaps
my answers will make you
fall in love with me
I surely fell in love with you
whilst you were listing off
your favorites
2. everything but
you fell in love with
late nights and soft kisses,
holding hands,
phone calls ending in
"i love you more."
you fell in love with
someone knowing you
as well as you know yourself,
being seen when you
thought you were invisible,
comfortableness
you fell in love with
sparkling short fights
and make-up "i love you"s,
silent car rides and
quiet understandings
but you did not
fall in love
with me
3. notice me
i want to be noticed
by a stranger with tender eyes
i want to be seen, biting my lip
or pushing my glasses
up the bridge of my nose
i want to be thought of days later
wondered about who i am
and what i hold dear
i want to be noticed
as much as i notice
because i see them
and they see me
to them,
i am just another face
but to me,
they are a mysterious masterpiece
4. i. haiku
you can either let
it eat you up inside, or
you can conquer it
5. awakening
i long for a life i have control of
i want a space of my own, decorated
with photos that hold nice memories,
soft pillows, and scented candles
i want shelves filled with books of
adventure and poverty
i want to wake up every morning
excited for what is to come
i want to look up at the sky
and feel the sun warm ym face
i want to go on long walks and hikes
and feel healthy and strong
i want to feel productive and satisfied
i want to take more photographs
and take up new hobbies
i want to become friends with
more interesting people
who will tell me stories about
places i've never been
i want to feel alive
6. crush
i'm too shy
to tell you
how i feel
so i'll hide behind
timid smiles
and soft hellos
i'm afraid
if i ask you
"what do you think of me?"
your reply will be
"i don't."
7. unrequited
someone fell in love with
my eyes
when they lit up because of you
a grin like that
makes me weak
in the knees
too bad you're smiling
at her, not me
8. truth
i think the world
would be a nicer place
if we stopped pretending
we knew everything
about everyone
9. you noticed me
this feeling of ecstasy, it blooms inside of me
sparks like fireworks
spread throughout my limbs
my hands quiver and
my heartbeat quickens
i want to run through
endless fields and shout
into the emptiness
because all of the sudden,
i am not invisible
10. cosmos
i am a celestial body,
orbiting a star
my eyes are telescopes
if you look into them
you can see
all my constellations
of thought
i harbor rivers and
oceans of aspiration,
i hold forests of curiosity,
deserts and islands
of loneliness,
cities of anticipations
not everyone takes the time
to look, to see me,
but
you do
11. i can't wait to meet you
sometimes i think about
how you woke up this morning
and brushed your teeth
i wonder how you like your coffee,
if you even like coffee at all,
and if you read the newspaper
why am i wasting my time
letting all these people
that don't really matter
break my heart?
when you're out there
somewhere
living your life and wondering
where i am
i know you're out there
and you're waiting for me too
12. talk is cheap
maybe
the most helpful thing
you could say
is not meant to be said
with words
13. the lotus flower
you can either
keep yourself up at night
wondering
"why me?"
you can hind under your covers
and tell everyone
you're wrong and you'll
never be right
or you can see all this
heartbreak
pain
conflict
imperfection
as an opportunity
to emerge from the concealed depths
to the gleaming luminescence
and become stronger
it is your choice to decide
whether to drown in your troubles
or to courageously survive
because the harder the struggle
the more spirited you become in the end
"the deeper the mud
the more beautiful the lotus blooms."
14. you will always be good enough
if you feel unsatisfied
with you (you) are,
destroy the bits
you don't like in yourself,
(will) yourself to keep fighting,
because there is (always)
a chance to make things better
instead of completely destroying
who you could (be)
"(good) things come
to those who wait,"
but sometimes time is
not (enough) to cure the
overwhelming aching feeling
that keeps you in bed
on sunny days
you have to fight to be alright
it may not be easy,
but it's worth it
so look at all of the weight the world holds
that's waiting for its chance to crush you,
and say "today, i am going to be okay."
15. searching
life is full of searching
searching for someone who appreciates you,
who understands each deep thought
that fills your mind and holds your hand
even when those thoughts are unclear
we search for light in dark places,
hoping that things aren't truly as
grim as they appear to be
we search for time and consequently
waste it in the process
so often we spend days and months
and years searching for something
we think will steady our hearts
step back and take a moment
to inhale and exhale with eyes closed,
and the one thing that will bring forth
pure joy will become clear, it will
stand out and beckon for your attention
you then have a choice:
either pretend you can find a light
more satisfying and continue to search
blindly for something that will never appear,
or look at the love and hope you've found,
and put your faith and trust in the
most brilliant light you'll ever see
why would you keep searching
for stars in the shadows
when there's already a sun
shining in your sky?
16. breathe
Don't forget to get away every once in awhile,
To lose yourself in a book
Or in the woods behind your home
Ride your bike into the sunset,
Sit on your front steps and count the cars passing by,
Lay on your room and gaze up at the night sky,
Drive along backroads with the windows rolled down
Listening to nothing but the sound of rushing wind
I hope you take the time to be alone,
To sort through the cluttered shelves of your heart
I hope you take the time to be silent,
To close your eyes and just listen
I hope you take the time to be still,
To quiet your mind and experience the beauty
Of simply Being
17. memories
it's strange to think
you will only remember me
as the person i was with you
you'll never learn of my new habits,
nor will i ever come to know yours
i won't get to watch you grow,
see you become strong,
heart about all of your new
adventures and revelations
no, i am only left
with who you were
we're both frozen in time
in each others' memories
18. see you there
i think we still exists
somewhere in the universe
behind the sun
where all of earth's abandoned
soulmates go to rest
i think i can see us
when i look up at the sky
and squint directly into
the rays of light,
your brown eyes burning
into mine
i think we are together
in the time that trails behind
the present, dancing
in circles until the last stars
fizzle out
i think that our promises seeped into the soil, like
february rain, our souls sown
together, tucked in
beneath the world
i think what we had is
somewhere just out of reach.
pulsing in the dim spaces
between heat lightning
and although, in this lifetime,
we became nothing but shadows,
monsters that linger on bedroom walls
we are there, we are alive,
and we are still in love.
Order yourself a copy here, you won't regret it!
