In today's society many people are accustomed to the idea of "First World Problems," but what is worse than these "First World Problems," are the "Modern Day Problems," the average college student must face. Here are only a select few of said problems:
1. When you finally have achieved the perfect schedule and the academic office puts you in a class with a different professor.
This is honestly one of the worst things. Because not only did you spend all that time on ratemyprofessors.com comparing professor against professor to determine the perfect one for you, but now they have to go and destroy all your hard work and effort, let alone your dreams. The disgusting part is that you do not realize it until it is too late to switch into another class. They sneakily do it and when you finally check a couple days before the next semester starts you realize there is nothing you can do. So now you know your semester is going to now be that much worse. Thanks guys.
2. When your schedule is so packed you HAVE to take a 6-9.
They seem doable at the time, but on that first day of class when you are stuck there for those 3 hours...you have to slowly come to terms with the error of your ways. Basically,as a result of that ridiculous decision, you have essentially sold your soul to the collegiate gods and have now signed yourself up for many sleep-deprived nights, shelling out an obscene amount of money at Starbucks (you might even be able to apply for the Gold card at the end of this), missing out on prime Netflixing hours, the temptation to skip will be so strong but because you only meet once a week you can now only miss a single class before it completely screws with your grade, and by the time you are in the home stretch of those three hours your brain will have dissolved into mush vaguely resembling a potato. Needless to say, 6-9 classes are the brain love child of the devil.
3. When you are starving and the Panda Express line goes all the way to China.
Picture this, you are finally out of class and the first thing that pops into your head is an image of Lo mein noodles and juicy orange chicken. You can already feel your mouth watering, your eye lids get heavy and begin to dilate...mmmm...Pandaaa...A snap decision is made and you suddenly find yourself being hustled towards Kirkhof and the promise of decently priced Chinese food. You sprint up the steps, throw the doors open (being careful to thrust it open for the person behind you), and practically dive into the Campus Dining Area and then... to your horror the image poofs and disintegrates as you take in the full extent of the line of other eager college students. It is almost like a throng of zombies attacking the counter and your stomach drops. Seven dollar sushi it is.
4. Showing up to class and realizing homework is due...that you haven't done...
Get real, this happens far more than any of us are willing to admit. Either you just get too caught up with friends, sleep, procrastinating, or Netflix, but either way this does happen at least 49.6% of the time. Sometimes you may lucky enough to remember the day of and steal some time to quickly do said assignment or beg a peer to help you through it. The other 50.4% of the time you either try to feign an illness, don't even go to class to begin with, or nag the process until he or she gives you an extension. Definitely, not a fun situation to find yourself in though.
5. When you finally get comfortable in bed and realize you never turned the lights off.
For the supreme slackers of the world this might be a weekly event so they would probably have a system in place to help them avoid getting out of bed at all costs. Such as having a sleep mask on a night stand, they probably have the clapper lights installed, maybe even have a slingshot to shoot things at the light switch hoping gravity will do its thing and have his or her back for once. For the average slacker this is a much trickier dilemma to find themselves in. They would probably have to eventually get up and turn the light off, or if they have a very understanding roommate they could scream at them to come over and turn the light off; although this would probably have a low rate of success. Either way, sacrifices will have to be made.
6. When the WiFi is down...
This is probably one of the most dreaded problem to ever befall a college student, whether it be at home or on campus. WiFi is one of the single most important technological advancement that has happened over the last twenty years, probably because of the ridiculous amount of money it can save dirt poor college students. But with great power comes great responsibility, and that responsibility meaning DON'T GO DOWN. Sometimes we rely too heavily on having this luxury, for either social media purposes or homework related ones. That is when Murphy's Law comes into play, "if anything can go wrong, it will." Which needless to say is rough for us.
7. Telling yourself that you really should go to the gym soon and then eating more chocolate.
Weight gain and weight loss is one of those things that is always in the back of every college students mind...and that of their professors. If only there was a way where laying in bed and doing nothing could burn calories, because then everyone would become the next Victoria's Secret model and life would be rainbows and butterflies. Sadly, that is not the case, and so that is how many a student finds his or her self at the gym. To the people who have an affinity for exercise, props to you, for the rest of us, keep trying! Because actually making yourself get up and go and get healthy is in itself a grand endeavor. Then to the few people who are successful they become the motivation for the rest of us to get off our butts and throw the candy away...which is a lot more difficult than it looks; especially, when stress eating is a thing. So try and forgive us all you health fiends, because it truly is harder for some people.
8. When you are so lazy that you just continue to lay in bed despite the fact that you've had to pee for two hours.
Yes, there is no excuse for this, but it does happen. Because as you all know after you've been laying in bed for a while you find a certain spot, an incredibly special spot that provides both optimum comfort AND warmth (which almost never happens). So the idea of having to move from spot that is pure perfection is the last thing on your mind, but then it happens. All the water and food you had been consuming while in said position is now hitting your system and sending signals shooting to your brain. You try to ignore them and snuggle ever deeper into your mound of pillow and blanket, but it keeps hitting you every few minutes. Eventually it gets to the point where you are experiencing acute physical pain and still you refuse to leave your safe warm nest. By the time you finally jump out of bed and race towards the restroom it is almost too late, but lucky you your roommate isn't occupying it so you can zoom in and do the deed. Never fear, your bed is still waiting for you...although that perfect spot may become lost again.
9. When you realize that you cannot get through the day without a nap.
This is a realization that either happens right after week one of Freshman year or it slowly grows on you and you do not truly understand until you're nearly done with school to begin with. Rule 1 of College: Every day is better with a nap. Because your schedule is seriously ridiculous and you are either a vampire half the time and can happily stay up until three or four in the morning, or you are a legit child and need to go to bed before 11. Either way naps are always helpful and welcome. They make you happier, make the day go by faster, help you become a more relaxed and laid back person, can enhance performance, reduce mistakes, can increase alertness, help with relaxation and rejuvenation, improves learning and memory, can increase creativity, boosts productivity, obliterates stress, and literally lifts your spirits. So treat yourself to a nap, it is actually good for you.
10. Thinking of all the homework you need to be doing and then clicking the next episode on Netflix.
This is an actual problem. Netflix is honestly probably one of the most lucrative companies out there purely because of the huge amount of traffic it gets by people of all types of audiences. College students, are definitely one of the highest consumers of this product, but so many people who work regularly and lead productive and happy lives are also consumers. This product is for everyone and anyone, and for people who use it in healthy ways are doing it right, but in college...well, things are definitely different. Binge watching shows, getting to the point where Netflix literally asks if you are still watching the show because you've been watching for so long, and always having it at the ready; all of these may seem like funny little accomplishments (and sometimes they actually are), but the reality of it all is that in today's society we really do spend too much of our time watching TV. We do this so much more than we should, instead of studying or doing household chores, etc. It can be a great tool to kill of stress or pass the time, but maybe try picking up a book (maybe even a textbook) and reading something. Because if the apocalypse does happen, Netflix will not be around forever, but books will be.
11. Buying more underwear from Victoria's Secret just so you can go a few more weeks without having to do laundry.
This is an incredibly useful trick that many people picked up in High School, but if you are a newcomer it will change your life. Let's be frank, doing laundry is an awful but necessary chore. Because as much as we procrastinate against it and wear clothes twice maybe three times before we will actually consider washing, it has to be done, and the worst thing is running out of underwear before you have worn your clothes as much as you could. Because by then your hand is forced to actually attempt to organize your clothes by darks, whites, colors, delicates, etc. and throw them all into the washing machine. So, as a way to avoid all of that unpleasantness, simply drive to your nearest mall, storm the Victoria's Secret (hopefully going at a time when they're having the 5 for $25 deal), whip out your debit/credit card, and go to town. Not only do you have an excuse to get cute underwear, but you also get to avoid laundry for an even longer amount of time. Everybody wins!
12. Telling yourself that you will wake up early and try to look nice and then ignoring all the alarms you've set and sleeping longer.
The struggle is real. If you are a real lover of sleep you know how difficult it is to make yourself wake up after the first alarm goes off, or avoiding hitting snooze and sleeping for ten more minutes. It should not be as hard as it is, but the sad truth is that no matter how hard you try it will always be difficult. Being asleep is just so comfortable, especially when your face is squished into your pillow and you have wrinkles all along your arms and legs from the covers and being in the same position for hours. It is the best feeling in the world, being free from all responsibility, being warm and safe, getting to literally do nothing. It is the closest thing we can get to heaven, well, that and Nutella. It may be easier to make yourself get up if you have a particularly stubborn and loud alarm, or you could opt for using your phone and keeping it on vibrate, that way you don't have to feel as bad falling asleep with it right next to you because the vibrate is going to wake you up anyway. But yes, either way, waking up is a battle unto its own.
13. When you end up not even having enough money to buy Ramen.
At some point in your college career you will come to a sad and startling conclusion: you are broke af. For some reason money seems to flow out of your pockets so quickly and you end up with nothing until your next paycheck, if you're lucky. Some of you are hopefully still on the meal plan so at least you will be able to get some form of nourishment, but the rest of us are not so lucky. It would probably be wise to create a budget or some form of money management, like our parents beg us to do, but otherwise you are going to be surviving off of Ramen or less for a long time. Maybe your parents will take pity on you and send you care packages of nutrient dense food so you're able to function for a few days. The worst thing is that even when it seems like you have no food, you still end up gaining weight. The collegiate gods are an unfair bunch to say the least.
14. Being a commuter student and seeing all your friends hanging out on social media and never being able to do anything, because you're a commuter student and buses rule your life.
Sure, living downtown or off campus seems like a good idea at the time, but honestly it has its own challenges. Such as, when your friends all want to hangout later in the day and you have to make sure you can catch the bus before it stops running, or if you don't own your own car and you originally plan on staying the night but something comes up and you're trapped on campus. Sometimes you may not really feel like taking the bus all the way to campus if you don't have class that day, sometimes you want your friends to come to you. But if you decide to say no or are unable to go be with your friends the anger and sadness that comes from seeing images of them having an amazing time at something you were invited too but couldn't go to is awful. But then living off campus has its own perks so you try to not feel as bad. Even if you secretly wish you were there with them.
15. Promising yourself you will never procrastinate again...and then procrastinate procrastinating.
Honestly, there is not much more that can be said on this topic. When you procrastinate, you procrastinate hard; and then wish that you hadn't procrastinated, but it still continues to happen against your will. Procrastination, it is an eternal and everlasting cycle of madness.
16. Still needing your mom to schedule any and all appointments for you.
For some reason it is simply impossible for college students to adult, but then we have to realize that yes we are no considered adults. So in regard of this we go out of our ways to find adultier adults, which happen to be our parents. They can help us with many great and fantastical things such as: laundry, food, taxes, money, grocery shopping, editing papers, turning into life coaches, or part time therapists. But most of all, parents help us SCHEDULE APPOINTMENTS. It is just difficult for us to do this, for many sad and desperate reasons. Sometimes it is just harder for us to utilize and manage our time, and it is easier for us to forget appointments that we have made ourselves. But with the threat of getting completely witched out by our parental units, it is highly more likely that we will actually remember and keep said appointments. Don't give up on us yet, we are still finding our ways. So keep on adulting, or attempting to.
17. That moment when even if you go to bed early you still wake up tired.
It is a disgusting and never ending cycle of sleepiness. Sleep is amazing, but when you are constantly sleepy and dreaming an improper amount of romantic dreams of your bed, you know you have a problem. It seriously does not make sense. Why are you so tired? Why even if you go to bed early do you wake up tired? Why? Sleep is supposed to be an amazing and beautiful thing so why can't you just get enough of it? Is it oversleep, lack of sleep, nightmares, night terrors, etc. It does not make sense either way. So as you consider all your options you secretly wonder if by sleeping more you will be able to combat the sleepiness of sleep? It is like something out of inception. A continuous betrayal of sleep. It is insanity, repeating the same thing forever and expecting a different outcome every time...but what if it does change? This is too much for our brains to handle, just go back to sleep...
18. When you think you will be able to get through a semester without skipping class once.
Just stop. It is not going to happen, okay? Okay. You can try as hard as you would like, but at some point you will either get sick from the over exertion you are putting on your body, or your class/prof. will become too much for even you to handle. Skipping is just a part of the college experience. It may end up being one of the worst things you can do to yourself, but at the time you are simply in the heat of the moment and do not try to rationally comprehend the consequences to your actions. You are purely beast and act on instinct. Sleep, eat, repeat. Work hard, play hard, don't stop. Sleep, eat, repeat...But in the end try not to skip, because we all know it will do nothing for your GPA or grades. If you actually want to get somewhere in life and have a career, don't skip all the time. Only skip during acceptable moments in time. Like if you're incredibly tired and pulled an all-nighter, or if you are ridiculously sick, or a family member died, or your dog died, or if you won the lottery.