Psst, hey -- I know life is rough for you right now. I know you're thinking of just giving up.. on everything. "Why would it even matter? It'd be a hell lot easier than going through this everyday," you'd say. You counted yourself out. Day in and day out, you experience the same sadness. Even though you're only 17 and haven't even been able to experience half of the joys life has to offer, you accepted that maybe this is just how your life is meant to be. Hope is nonexistent to you. The so-called light at the end of the tunnel that everyone speaks of? It doesn't exist.
What fuels your anxiety most is the future; or lack therefore of. You don't see one for yourself. All your friends are able to draw, sing or act, and you can't do any of those things. In fact, you're convinced that you have zero talent whatsoever. That terrifies you. Everyone seems to have their future planned out except for you. When you think of your future, your mind goes completely blank. Nothing is there.
So the whole college process? Seems pointless when you don't have the slightest clue of what you're passionate about -- which is completely daunting when your guidence counselor and everyone else in your life is shoving college down your throat.
But what if I told you that it genuinely does get better? What if I told you that you end up deciding on a major that you're actually really good at and most importantly, it's something that you're passionate about? What if I told you that in a few years, you'll have a solid idea of your future goals? You won't believe me because I was in your shoes once (quite literally) and it's nearly impossible to believe things will ever change. That's the problem; we tend not to be able to see beyond right now. That's how we get into trouble. We get stuck and we think that we'll remain stuck forever, but that's never the case. Things are constantly changing; the seasons, the trees, relationships. This is no exception.
The cobwebs will slowly become fewer. The fog will clear. Your future will no longer be just a blank slate of nothingness; and if it is, you'll learn to let it inspire you rather than terrify you. You'll view that blank slate as a good thing. That means there's endless room for creativity and possibility.
Someday, you'll know what it feels like to wake up and be excited about being alive. You'll know a day without pain. You'll know the joys of living with your best friends and laughing 'til your stomach hurts. Your soul will be filled with blossoming flowers instead of ominous black smoke. Your mind will be a calm place to be rather than a destructive one. You'll get your light back in your eyes where hollowness once lived.
Everything will start to make sense -- all those lonely nights, all those times you swore you'd never make it through; there was a reason for all of that. You don't see it yet because your vision is too clouded by the darkness, but someday it'll be replaced by the most radiant sun you've ever seen.
Life truly does get better. Make sure you're around to see it.