Whether you were born in the states or abroad, there are several factors common to most African households. If you have African blood running through your veins, you can probably relate to these.
1. Your parents are never ever wrong. Never. Even when they are, they’re not.
2. You see that container of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”? Yeah, it's not butter. Literally.
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3. Get used to sarcasm. It’s a way of life with parents. Especially mothers.
4. Don’t ever complain about how difficult your life is. Your parents will tell you about how they had to walk through miles of mud to get to school – barefoot.
5. If you are a girl, forget about boys until you’re ready to get married.
6. If you value your life, you will never ever talk back to your parents or give them any kind of attitude.
7. Your parents will always need you to fetch the remote for them. Even if you’re in your room and the remote is on the table in front of them.
8. You can probably recognize Agatha Moses anywhere.
9. The words “Can I go over to [insert friend’s name]’s house for a sleepover/party?” don’t exist in your parents’ vocabulary.
10. Every adult is addressed as either aunty or uncle regardless of whether or not you’re actually related to them.
11. Whatever you do, DO NOT talk while receiving a beating. It only serves to further anger them and intensify your beatings.
12. The dishwasher will never actually be used to wash dishes. You hand wash everything and use the dishwasher to dry them.
13. Events go on ALL NIGHT! If you know you are going to some sort of party, do not plan on going back home before 3:00 a.m.
14. The pickup lines are just...something else.
" Baby you are the only butter in my bread." "You are the only hair in my armpit."
15. Sending your younger sibling to ask your parents for something without mentioning your name (almost) always backfires.
16. Your parents will chastise and criticize in all kinds of ways at home, but will brag about how great you are to everyone else.
17. No matter how annoyed or angry you get with your parents, you always want to make them proud.
*Bonus: No one dances like Africans. Absolutely no one.*
