The internet is flushed full of article upon article about the things women do that make them less attractive to men. Our spray tans, our nose rings, our high heels, our bold lipsticks –– it all seems to really piss off a lot of guys. At its core, the problem is that men have an inherent belief that women exist to please them; that when we walk down the street, our behavior and physical appearance should suit their preferences by default. Because of how obviously false that is, that is not the point of this article. And anyways, it probably wouldn't convince those men to think any differently if it were. So instead, I've decided to compile my own list of 17 things men do that women absolutely hate.
1. Think that women dress for men and not themselves.
I know I said I wasn't going to be talking about this, but it needs a brief mention. Now I don't know why it's so hard to grasp, but even some of the most liberal-minded men seem to have trouble with it. We don't give a damn if you don't like our oversized sweaters or if you think our sandals make our feet look big. We know we look good. That's all there is to it.
2. Take up more than their fair share of space on public transportation.
There seems to be this expectation from a lot of men that the woman they are seated next to will automatically squish herself against a wall to accommodate the irrational need these men have to not only spread their legs halfway past where their seat ends and into my seat, but also take up both armrests, and let their arms hang over onto my seat. There is no sensible reason for this phenomena. Stop feeling the need to assert your masculinity 24/7. I get it. You have a dick. You're not going to be less of a dude if you're capable of sitting within the limits of one seat.
3. Think cat calls are flattering.
They simply are not. I don't feel better about myself because you took time out of your life to shout something at me from your car.
4. Participate in extreme catcalling.
Maybe you're not sure what this is. Let me enlighten you. Sometimes men will drive by a woman while she's walking her dog, for example. And he'll shout something crude or annoying. Women, unfortunately, are used to this. But not all men stop there. With shocking frequency, the man will either slow his car down, or pull over, or go out of his way to follow the woman walking her dog. He may or may not continue trying to get her attention, but at that point it doesn't matter. I've been told by a number of men that they see this kind of behavior as funny –– some kind of joke. But women see it as threatening. When this happens to a woman, she gets ready to dial 911. It's not a joke to us. It's fucking terrifying.
5. Talk to us while we're wearing headphones.
The number of times I've sat in a coffee shop trying to do work when a man sat beside me and struck up a conversation is horrifying. Headphones are still a sign for DO NOT TALK TO ME. Don't delude yourself into thinking you are the exception to that rule.
6. Sit next to us when there are plenty of other seats available.
This is a big one, and it honestly applies to all humans in general. But specifically men. If there are other seats open on the subway, don't choose the one next to me, especially if I'm the only other person on the train. I will instantly think that you're plotting to either kidnap or murder me.
7. Touch us without asking.
If you don't know a woman, do not assume that it's appropriate or acceptable to put your hands on her body, no matter where you touch her. It's not.
8. Interrupt us when we're talking about something important.
An app was just made so that women can keep track of how often they're interrupted by men on a daily basis. If that doesn't tell you something, I don't know what does. The thing is, men often don't realize they're doing it. But even small interruptions, if they're made consistently, are an indication of a belief many men have instilled in them that their opinions are inherently superior to those of the women around them.
9. Say things like "You're pretty for a ____ girl."
This is both sexist and racist, so congratulations, you've hit the jackpot. Stop being so eurocentric and realize that whiteness is not the canon of beauty.
10. Talk about meninism like it's a real thing.
This is not only an indication of a deep misunderstanding of the term feminism, but also an unsettling red flag. You probably feel an immense injustice in the fact that women are reaching for equality, because you probably believe that women moving up in the world is costing you something. You're also probably white and think that Mexicans are stealing your jobs.
11. Consider all of our emotional reactions to be overreactions.
A lot of men seem to have the mindset that any woman's reaction is an overreaction –– it takes convincing for us to establish the legitimate grounds of our emotional responses. This automatic inclination to assume you know our own experiences better than we do needs to stop.
12. Dismiss our opinions.
You're not automatically smarter than us. Stop thinking you are.
13. Send nudes literally out of the blue.
No girl wants to open a random snapchat in the middle of the day just to find that it's a picture of your literal dick. Ever.
14. Call us pet names when you don't know us.
That girl who walked by you on the street isn't your baby girl or your sweetheart. You don't know her, so don't act like you do.
15. Pretend rape is sex.
Some guys (some people, honestly) think that rape is in fact sex. It's not. It's violence. Don't mix the two up.
16. Dismiss rape.
Similar to number 15, rape cannot be dismissed as just a more forceful version of sex. Some guys may think they had sex with a really drunk girl, or that the girl they had sex with was just embarrassed to say yes, but you're wrong. That's rape. And rape is one of the most horrific acts of violence that can be inflicted upon a person, and can. Not. Be. Dismissed.
And just as a side note, do not use rape in casual conversations about things other than actual rape. You didn't get raped by that video game; your favorite football team didn't get raped in that game they lost. I'll honestly never understand what inspired guys to start using the word rape this way, but stop.
17. Not listen to us when we say no.
Whether you're asking for our number, asking our opinion, asking if we want to go back to your place –– whatever it is, it seems that you often times won't respect our answer. We say no, and you think it's a joke. We say no, and you think we're being coy. We say no, and you assume that you know best –– you assume that you know we mean yes.
I'm not sure how the word "no" got so confusing.
Here's the thing: those lists that men make about all the annoying things women do that make them unattractive are just ridiculous. They make it seem as though no man has ever even imagined that a woman could do things for herself rather than the men around her, which is obviously false. But note the differences between this list and those. Men complain about the way women dress, or how much perfume they wear. I wish that this list could be about the fashion disasters that men perpetrate on a daily basis. But women have bigger things to worry about.
