The quaint village of the southern suburbs of Chicago; it is not uncommon to have not heard of it. Regardless of its size and location, those who have lived here know certain things remain almost always true for New Lenox. Here are a few of those known to the residents...
1. It was named THE most boring town in all of Illinois.
According to Movoto back in 2016, New Lenox came in at number 1 of the most boring towns Illinois has to offer. It came to earn this title by the surveying of nightlife, amount of music venues and parks, how many fast food chains the town has, as well the percentage of the younger population. It does make for a good ice breaker telling your college class that you come from the most boring town in all of Illinois.
2. The population is divided by if you go to LWC, LWW or Providence.
No one is really bothered to compare the grade schools unless you went to the private Catholic school, St. Jude like I did. There are your Liberty kids, Martino kids, who turn to LWW or LWC kids. And then those Providence kids who don't even live here!? Despite the schools being less than a 20-minute drive apart, the original Central Knights face off the West Warriors at sports and academics. But the Providence Celtics excel at almost everything but their school still doesn't have air conditioning though.
3. If you want to run into anybody, head to the local Target, movie theater, Jewel, Starbucks or any business for that matter.
There are days you hide in the aisles or booths to not have to talk to that one friend's mom or your ex, and then there are some days you talk to one of your old high school friends in the parking lot of T.J. Maxx for an hour. There is no in-between.
4. Head to one of the five bars to drink at a mini high school reunion.
Bulldog Ale's House is the place to go if you want a three dollar beer and to see everyone who attended your high school; teachers or students.
5. The only time you see the cops is never.
With the low crime rate in the tiny village, you only see the NLPD is when they are trying to bust someone for speeding 5 over or for monitoring events.
6. You looked forward to the same summer events every year growing up.
Proud American Days, movies in the park, 4th of July fireworks, sporting camps, vacation Bible school, beach days downtown or at the dunes, and high school football games. You also had those two hills to sled down at wintertime.
7. Do you need a mattress? We have options!
New Lenox serves its people by having four mattress stores and they are all along Route 30. So just go down another mile if you miss the first three.
8. You head to other towns nearby to shop or go out.
There is only so much that can be done in New Lenox. Mokena, Frankfort, Joliet, Orland Park, Tinley and other suburbs just have better restaurants and stores. Manhattan doesn't count though.
9. It's almost the country, but it's not.
It is the last suburb before you head into acres of corn fields and barns and horses at every corner. You do have your camo wearing, tractor loving boys and everybody did attend a country concert in high school. The agriculture clubs in high school existed but weren't that popular.
10. You will or have headed to a state or community college after high school, with tons of your graduating class.
JJC, ISU, U of I, UIC, Northwestern, Eastern, Southern; you can name at least 10 people at each. And you often still stayed friends with your hometown friends at college or even roomed or dated them too. And if college wasn't for you? We all know those who went into the trades or cosmetology.
11. When you decide to head to the city, you have to endure the Metra.
As the second to last stop on the Rockford line, $7.50 and an hour and a half later, you finally get downtown after the countless stops. But you always do get the first pick of the seats on top.
12. The gem of New Lenox is the Country Charm.
Any morning you are craving coffee, pancakes and a cozy place, Country Charm is the place to go. You don't even mind waiting in the packed, slim hallway to be seated and fed. And don't forget to Snapchat that you're there so all your fellow New Lenoxians are aware.
13. Oh, and Portillos, too.
You feel bad for the high schoolers taking your order in the drive-thru, but those cheese fries and chocolate shakes are irresistible.
14. Parties are held in someone's basement, garage, backyard or in a cornfield.
Don't forget to play bags, flippy cup and have a bonfire!
15. The nicest part of the town is the New Lenox Commons.
With the library you never visit, town hall, police station, bank and office buildings, you often took pictures with the pond and gardens in the background for Homecoming and Prom pictures.
16. We love strip malls.
What screams America! more than a city full of strip malls?
17. You'll hear about the local news from your Facebook.
Someone from your high school became Instagram famous? It's on Facebook. Someone, you know got arrested, engaged or had a baby? It's on Facebook. Any accidents, crime, or new businesses happening? It's. All. On. Facebook.
