Marilyn Monroe got it wrong. Diamond's aren't a girl's best friend, it's food. Every girl who loves food understands at least one of these points.

1. I can probably eat more than you. Don't question it. Just let it happen.

2. Yes, I just ate 10 minutes ago what's your point? I love food.

3. If I'm having a bad day food is guaranteed to make it better, I promise you.

4. Oreos are the key to my heart.

5. And also Chipotle.

6. Food, in general, is the key to my heart, let's be real here.

7. If you touch my food I'll punch you in the face. No joke. So don't do it. Ever.

8. Don't ask for a bite of my food the answer is and will always be no.

9. You know what? Don't even look at my food.

10. But you should consider yourself special if I ever share my food with you.

11. Yes, I said I was broke. I didn't think that applied to not being able to pay for food. I always have money for food. Always.

12. If I'm hangry then I advise you leave and find me some food because I am a totally different person when hangry and you won't like who that person is.

13. If you buy me food then just know you will always have a special place in my heart. I take things like that very seriously.

14. If we're at a restaurant and you tell the waiter that we don't want anymore bread, then I don't want anymore of your friendship because real friends don't do that to each other.

15. Please don't invite me to your house hyping your food up and then it's actually nasty. Because I won't eat and then I'll get hangry. Refer to 12 to see what happens when I am hangry.

16. I am always hungry.

17. I like food more than I like most people.

When I wake up I eat, before I go to bed after I eat, no matter the day or the time I am always hungry. In this moment I am hungry. And you know what? I hear Oreos calling my name.