I don’t really do well with goodbyes.

It’s funny that I chose to wait until now to write of the particular goodbye that I have in mind, especially because it was (what many might call) a pretty long time ago now.

When I say I’m bad at goodbyes, I don’t really mean the kind of goodbye that you say to your roommate before you leave for class or to your dog before you leave for college.

I mean the goodbye that I say at the end of every summer to the job that, quite honestly, I never thought I would fall so madly in love with when I first got hired back in high school.

I’m talking about the goodbye to my local Boys & Girls Club – and to all the kids I’ve come to know and coworkers I’ve come to love – every single August. It’s a goodbye that somehow manages to hurt just as much every single time, no matter how many summers pass and no matter how many times I’ve had to say it.

Granted, my goodbyes are only temporary.

And they do a pretty good job of reminding me throughout the school year what it really means to be a staff member at the Boys & Girls Club.

And even when I’m away, these 17 things are still so glaring in their truth that they are pretty much single-handedly capable of printing the word “STAFF” in all capital letters on the back of every shirt I wear.

1. You know way too many children’s movies way too well.

I could probably quote Ice Princess for you word-for-word 18 times over if you asked me to. Same goes for Aquamarine, Bee Movie, High School Musical, you name it. (Don’t worry, though. I won’t actually do it. Unless you want me to. In which case I definitely can.)

2. You definitely have a favorite.

And if you don’t, you’re either a) lying, or b) haven’t figured out yet that the kid who throws rocks at your head will somehow probably end up being your favorite.

3. You’ve spent a lot of time analyzing the logo.

And trying to figure out how to make your hands fold together half as gracefully.

4. You start to think kid things are really cool.

All I’m saying is I wouldn’t mind having an Animal Jam account. (RIP Club Penguin.)

5. You have Pinterest boards dedicated to your programs.

And you still occasionally creep on your co-workers’ boards. Yes, stealing ideas is encouraged here at the Boys & Girls Club.

6. You either REALLY love or REALLY hate carpet ball.

Or ping pong. Or doctor dodgeball. Or any other game that you will find in every Boys & Girls Club ever.

7. You have a list somewhere of all the hilarious, peculiar, and downright ridiculous things you’ve heard at work.

“I can’t hear you when the TV is turned up to 507 degrees Fahrenheit!”

8. You start to wonder if adults talked about you this much when you were the kids’ age.

They did.

9. You start to appreciate the really little things.

Like when Gavin draws you a picture of Minecraft or when Bailey tries to braid your hair. It might suck, and part of you wants to tell Bailey that cosmetology school probably isn’t in her foreseeable future, but you’re still going to show off that hairstyle for the rest of the workday anyway.

10. You’ve learned that kids are actually really smart.

Which means you stop letting them win at carpet ball, ping pong, and doctor dodgeball. They don’t need pity. They can fend for themselves, dang it. (Ask me if I’m bitter about all the times I’ve lost to a six-year-old at carpet ball. I’m not.)

11. You start to feel really cool, but only when you’re at work.

Seriously, if you give them the time of day, kids think you’re awesome. You could trip through the doorframe while carrying in a case of bottled water and they would still think you’re the coolest person in the world. No one in college seems to think so.

12. You have more club shirts than normal shirts.

I promise I wash my clothes. It’s just that I own at least 4 purple staff shirts by now.

13. You wonder why the same incentives don’t apply in adulthood.

Why isn’t there a Think Tank for college boys who break girls’ hearts? Why don’t I get raffle tickets for picking up someone else’s garbage in class? Why don’t we have someone who forces us to sit down and do homework for a whole freaking Power Hour? Seriously, I could use that kind of encouragement. College is hard.

14. You secretly hope that you’ll see one of your kids out in public.

I don’t know if some of these kids understand the concept of a social life yet, but I still want them to know I have one.

15. You get really excited when you see someone you don't know wearing a staff shirt in public.

You're one of my kind!

16. You have to keep reminding yourself that they’re not “your” kids.

Even though you’ve seriously considered taking one (or several) of them home with you at some point.

17. Other jobs just don’t seem as enticing anymore.

Ask any Boys & Girls Club staff from anywhere in this country and they will tell you that their job is hard. But it’s also rewarding – so rewarding that very few other jobs will quite measure up to just how in love you already are with this one. I may complain about my job, or the fact that Alyssa left the iron plugged in and Grace tripped over it last week. I may come home crying some days and doubt how much longer I can take it on other days. But compared to the days that I come home smiling from ear to ear? The days that I have stories to tell, laughs to share, and a really messy braid to take out at the end of the day? Those days are the days I’ll remember, and the days that I just might never find anywhere else.

The beauty of the painful “goodbye” that I face every August is that it somehow creeps up on me into a brand new “hello” every June.

I’m not saying my job is easy.

What I am saying is that I am more in love with it than I ever, ever expected to be.