For those not #blessed enough to be brought up in the Western Metropolitan suburbs of Minneapolis, you may not even know what the town of Eden Prairie is. I was reminded of all of this suburban town's "glory" when I read this article entitled, "17 Signs You Grew Up In Eden Prairie, Minnesota", so I decided to create my own tribute to the West Metro cities that grew up next to that young EP. Chanhassen, Chaska, Minnetonka, this one's for you.
1. You always had to hear about "The Wall," whether you wanted to or not.
"So like, there's a section for each grade and you move within the wall too. Then, there's the satellites and they aren't quite wall kids, but still friends, but kind of not..."
2. You were beat by Eden Prairie sports at least once (it's not our fault they stack their teams).
3. When people brag that it's the best city to live in you can't help but argue.
I mean, have you heard of Chaska's Ryder Cup, Tonka's highly rated school system, and Chanhassen's #4 Best Place To Live 2013 ranking by Money Magazine?
4. We had dope lakes to boat around, while Eden Prairie residents had the "quaint" EP mall.
5. Even Eden Prairie's school colors were aggressive. Why not shoot for a nice relaxing blue?
6. They brag about the "OG" Conn McCartan but we had Officer Bob and HEATHER STOHS.
7. You take pride in the fact that you were never an eagle.
Once not an eagle, never an eagle.
8. Bearpath is a bougie talking point for EP people, but did they forget that we represent ALL THE HOMES ON TONKA?
9. Speaking of, apparently "a lot of famous people" live in Eden Prairie. Ummm, have you heard of Prince??
10. When they call their lunchroom "The Commons"...Stop. It's just a lunchroom.
11. There are just too many people that go to EPHS. How did you ever get to know your graduating class?
12. Our graduation ceremony was definitely way shorter.
13. You still had to admit that the food selection in Eden Prairie is pretty prime.
If there's anything we can give Eden Prairie credit for, it's Kona Happy Hour.
14. You're destined to run into some Eagles if you go to a Minnesota School. I mean, Eagles never fly too far from the nest...
15. You have a theory that Eden Prairie kids go to UW-Madison just so they don't have to switch up too much of their game day attire.
16. As far as getting #fit, Lifetime Eden Prairie had nothing on the often imitated, but never duplicated Chanhassen Lifetime Fitness.
17. As much as you may have liked or disliked your high school, at least you can be happy you aren't these people.
However, with all that being said, we are #content with you being our West Metro Best Metro neighbors. After all, you Eden Prairians bring up the athletic average quite a bit.