Being a girl is awesome. You get to wear cute shoes and wear pretty things! However, along with that comes a few struggles, particularly for those of us who are on the shorter side of the height spectrum.
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1. Not being able to reach things
We have learned to become professional climbers of cabinets, tables, chairs; anything that can be used to give us those last few inches. One time the fire alarm in my bedroom was running out of power, so at 3 in the morning, I had to dig out the tallest pair of stiletto heels I had and climb on a chair to reach it. Even then, it ended with me calling my roommate to turn it off.
2. Wearing heels to be average height
About 99.9% of the time you will catch me wearing some kind of heel in an attempt to be average height. The only problem: when I don't wear them people always go, "Oh my god! I never realized how short you are!" Really? It's even better when they ask, "Do you know how short you are?!" No, I honestly had no idea until you pointed it out.
3. People wanting to pick you up
We do not have wings, we have feet and for some reason or another, people are always wanting to literary pick up short people and carry us somewhere. I don’t know why, maybe it’s for showing off how strong you are, showing how light we are or some other purpose, but I constantly have people trying to pick me up and swing me around, please don’t. It makes us seasick.
4. Having to stand on your toes to kiss someone
Being short already means we are shorter than most women, then add in some testosterone and about 7 inches then you’ve got yourself a man. However, with that comes having to find a way to gain that 7+ inches when it comes to kissin’ time. Which usually involves some serious tippy toe skills and some real neck twerking.
5. Most of the shirts you buy turn into dresses
When you buy a shirt I think it’s safe to say that 100% of the time you want it to actually be a shirt. Not something that covers up your shorts and make people wonder, “Is she wearing pants??”
6. Having people rest their arms on your head
No, just because our head is there is not an open invite to use it as your personal resting post. Plus we spend all that time fixing our hair cause you stare more at the top of our heads than anywhere else and you are going to mess it up....really?
7. Constantly looking up people's noses (literary)
Need I say more than ‘Ewwwww’?
8. Often mistaken for being a kid
Whenever I go to bar's they ALWAYS ask to see my ID and then squint their eyes at it trying to see if its a fake. I promise it's not. One time I even had a bartender come over to me after going to the bathroom and said "You're too short to be 21." Well, obviously not.
9. Your legs can't reach the ground
Seriously, it feels like a roller coaster with your legs just kinda dangling there with nothing underneath them. The spinning chairs though are exceptionally fun to ride on, though!
10. It takes you twice as long to get somewhere
Talk about a workout! It takes us either twice as long to get somewhere or we have to do a full-on cardio workout in order to keep up with the taller folks!
11. You tend to get bumped into a lot
Being that we live our lives literally at eye level with other people’s shoulders, needless to say, they don’t see us a lot. Therefore, we tend to get squished a lot. Mosh pits are our worst nightmares. Once, during our homecoming concert featuring Waka Flocka Flame, I thought I was going to die. Never before had I been so glad to get away from people.
12. You get easily lost in the store
Just being seen sometimes is a struggle, then add about a thousand clothing racks and shelves and we have ourselves our own little maze. But really, whenever I go shopping with a friend it usually ends up with me calling their name in fear that I might never find them again.
13. People want to know if you can fit in your childhood clothing
The answer is simple. If I haven't grown in 5 years, then the answer is yes.
14. You struggle to reach the bottom of the swimming pool
When it comes to summer time, laying out in the sun is a must. However, when it comes to pool time, short girls usually take a polite pass or spend all their time trying to get the talker folks to stay in the shallow end so we’re not constantly having to doggie paddle to stay afloat in deeper water.
15. Always having to roll the bottom of your jeans
Seriously, why don't they make pants for short people?! We have legs too!
16. Your assets are accentuated
Talk about awkward when you're wearing a t-shirt and you can still feel people staring at your chest whenever you walk by. Just because we have bigger lady parts does not mean it’s an open invite to stare at them 24/7. How would you feel if I just stared at your crotch?
17. You aren’t tall enough to ride the ‘big girl’ roller coasters
As a kid we are all told, ”one day you be tall enough to ride the big kid rides.” Here we are 20 years later and we are still waiting.
However, being on the shorter side of things there are some sweet advantages. We always have the best places to hide for Hide-and-Go-Seek, we never have to worry about dating someone shorter than us and countless more. Maybe my next article should be about the advantages of being not short but fun sized!
