With Inauguration Day just past us, I just needed to vent. The Obama Administration had to go.
These might not be good reasons, but they are definitely reasons. Here's why Barack Obama just had to go.
1. Unemployment was getting too low for my taste.
11 million jobs is just too many jobs, amirite? And a 4.9% unemployment rate is just bragging.
2. His dog, Bo, is just too adorable.
How's a POTUS supposed to focus with that amount of tail-wagging?
3. Clean energy is a little too clean. It's almost suspicious.
Solar and wind power is a little easy, don't you think?
4. The sick were getting too much of what they needed through Obamacare.
What a "disaster". People living longer. Walking around all healthy.
5. Married LGBT couples' sharing benefits is too progressive.
What an awful guy, trying to grant everyone equal happiness. How sickening.
6. We really wanted that economic depression he averted.
Americans were finally going to get some much-needed rest and relaxation with all the job losses.
7. Our deficit wasn't cut enough.
You know, it was only reduced by $1 trillion.
8. There were too many high school graduates during his terms.
A graduation rate of 83 percent, the nation's all-time high. That might lead to more college graduates. Where does it end?
9. We missed POTUS scandals.
I mean, there was NO hot gossip. What else do I angrily post about on Facebook? Oh right...everything else.
10. His sense of humor was too impeccable.
Because a sense of humor comes from the DEVIL.
11. His family was too picture-perfect and well-behaved.
Where's the drama? Where are the flaws??? A STEPFORD family if you ask me.
12. The FLOTUS is way over-qualified and beautiful.
All those health initiatives and speaking her feelings. And those arms are really intimidating.
13. All those Barack and Joe memes were getting annoying.
That much friendship and loyalty makes me sick. I'm going to need that Obamacare.
14. He normalized relations with Cuba.
I was having fun getting Cuban cigars illegally.
15. Obama was the WORST.
I mean, just look at that face.
Yeah, so, maybe there aren't any good reasons. But that's because President Barack Obama was one of the most successful presidents in our great nation's history.
I, for one, will truly miss you and I will mourn the campaign that must follow in your influential footsteps. You're one to "trump" them all.
