17 Reasons I Am Essentially A Grandma (And Proud Of It) | The Odyssey Online
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17 Reasons I Am Basically A Grandma At The Age Of 21 And Proud Of it

Yes, I have a hard-set bedtime of 9:30 p.m.

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17 Reasons I Am Basically A Grandma At The Age Of 21 And Proud Of it
Original Photo by Karlee Onstad

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I am 21 years old. While I should be barhopping on Friday nights and causing ruckus with my pals, I usually find myself just wanting to take a nap. Yes, I do greatly enjoy venturing out into public and doing adventurous activities, but, after a few hours of human contact, your girl needs her sleep. And I love my life as a young adult whose habits and lifestyle reflects that of an 80 year old woman and here are 17 reasons why:

1. I go to bed around 9:30 p.m.

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My brain and body essentially just stop working at 9:31 p.m.

2. I naturally wake up at around 7 a.m. every morning.

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It doesn't matter if I fall asleep at my bedtime or stay out till three in the morning, I will be up by seven the next morning. Hence, why I enjoy taking naps.

3. I love to sew.

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I got my sewing machine when I was 10 years old, and it has, quite possibly, been the best present I have ever received.

4. I am usually a year late to trends.

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Everything changes so quickly! How do these youths expect me to stay cool when the trends change every 10 minutes?

5. I do not know pop culture.

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If you start to talk to me about any actors, artists, movies, etc., I assure you that I will not know anything that you are talking about. Unless you are talking about old westerns or the "Hillbillies."

6. I think I need hearing aids.

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I am that person that will just smile at you when you ask me a question, because I still have no idea what you said and I refuse to ask, "What?" for the fourth time.

7. I LOVE plants.

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Which subsequently are also are my main topic of conversation. I planted my first tomato plant this year, and everyday I brag to my roommates on how much it has grown.

8. I find happiness in knitting .

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While my knitting talents are limited to just straight lines, I make one beautiful scarf.

9. I think antiquing is one of the best pastimes.

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I am just waiting until I can actually afford those dusty records on the table or that faded green chair in the corner.

10. I call everything “cute.”

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And, soon enough, I will be pinching my friends' cheeks when telling them how adorable they look in their new dress.

11. I often encounter standing up as a difficult task.

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I have this perfect spot on my bed where I do homework and, after four hours of just sitting there, there is no way I am physically able to stand. So, logically, I nap it off.

12. I walk slow...like really slowly.

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I walk concerningly slow considering that I live on a campus where you have to walk a mile to get to any one class, with temperatures below zero for most of the semester. Needless to say, I leave ten minutes earlier than the average human to make sure that I arrive on time.

13. I enjoy cooking and baking.

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Even though our oven never fully heats up, only three out of the four stove burners work and our fridge used to freeze our food, that never stopped me from baking my banana oatmeal chocolate chip muffins on a Sunday morning.

14. I have the same wardrobe as my grandmas.

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Yes, I own a bird shirt, a faded tan cardigan (that I got at an elderly lady's garage sale) and an excessive amount of jackets. Might as well dress like a grandma if I already resemble one.

15. I am always cold.

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While my roommates will be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in our house, I will be wearing sweatpants, a long sleeve shirt and a sweatshirt (while of course being snuggled under one of my three comforters).

16. I complain when the neighbors are loud at 10 p.m.

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Okay, so, yes, it is a Friday night and I live on a college campus, but, sir, why do you insist on blaring your rap music so loud?

17. I always have gum, mints and compact Kleenexes.

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I may not always carry hard candies, but if you need gum, mints or Kleenexes at any point of the day, I'm your girl.

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