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17 Absurd Real-Life Childhood Stories

You can't make this stuff up.

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17 Absurd Real-Life Childhood Stories
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Childhood is a time filled with amazingly awkward, unbelievably stupid, and ridiculously awesome moments. I asked a lot of my friends what their quirkiest moments were as a child. This is what I got:


"I put choker necklaces (like the wire looking ones that became popular again in 2014) in my mouth to look like braces." -S.F


"When I was four, my mom let me take my first shower alone without her in the room and I came out with my left eyebrow shaved off." -R.E


"When strangers called me cute, I would spit at them and kick them" -R.E

"When I was two or three and got mad, I would hold my breath until I passed out or get taken to the ER. As soon as we got to the ER, I would stop holding my breath." -R.L

"I really wanted to be named Elizabeth for some reason and when people asked me my name I would tell them Elizabeth. On my fourth birthday, I was in DC and the conductor of the train and everyone on it sang happy birthday to Princess Elizabeth." -B.L

"I was embarrassed to be an only child so when people came over I would introduce them to baby dolls and say that they were my siblings and would insist that each doll had its own chair at restaurants." -R.L

"When my brother was getting potty trained, he had one of those little kiddie plastic toilets and when he did it, he got so much attention and I got jealous so I took the cushion rim things off and put in around my head but it got stuck and had to be cut off." -A.B

"I always thought that meat had skin on it so when my parents made me eat it in public, especially steak, I would pretend I was choking and throw up on command in the middle of the restaurant." -L.M

"I used to tell everyone that I co-wrote the song 'First' by Lindsay Lohan."-S.M


"I let one of my friends cut ALL my hair off while playing hairdresser and when my dad came in and freaked out I didn't understand why he couldn't just glue it all back on."-J.W


"My parents asked me if I knew any bad words so I told my parents I knew the 'c' word, thinking that it was 'sh*t'....spelling was never my forte." -Z.F

"I wanted to see if my puppy could swim so I purposely threw a tennis ball in the toilet to see if she could swim and go get it." -L.F


"I used to sleep with a pile of socks under my pillow because I was convinced it took away all my bad dreams." -L.T

"I slept with shoes and a hat on." -J.C

"I made a webshow with my friend because I wanted to become the next iCarly." -D.K

"I told everyone Oprah was my aunt." -L.F

"One day my jacket tore and the fuzzy stuffing came out so I used to form in into little puff balls, color them in different colors, and sell them to my 1st grade class." -C.R-S
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