There's nothing worse than letting the past interfere with the present. But how can you enjoy the moment when all you seem to long for is the comfort of the past?
Sometimes you may miss the little things, but other times you may miss your home life altogether. Homesickness is getting dressed in the morning and missing the smell of your family's laundry detergent. Homesickness is laying in bed at night and longing for your childhood bed.
Homesickness is trying to cook on your own, but feeling defeated because all you crave is your mom's homemade mac and cheese. Some people may experience it worse than others, but essentially, homesickness distracts you from the present. Whether you're living at college, or studying abroad, feelings of homesickness may set in at any given moment. Here are 16 ways to cope with this feeling:
1. Surround yourself with familiar things.
The familiar objects could include anything from old photos and hand-me-downs from your parents, to your favorite coffee mug from your house or that perfume you used to wear.
2. Indulge in comfort food every once in a while.
Have your family members send you some of their favorite family recipes. That way, the next time you're longing for one of your mom or dad's meals, you can try recreating it. Another option is to make a dish that your family made for you on special occasions, or even when you were sick.
3. Talk to your friends and family.
I feel beyond grateful to live in a world where my mom is just a text or FaceTime call away. If you're having a rough week, it may be nice to give a family member a call, even if you don't have much news to share with them. My little brother and I also try to Snapchat every day. Even if there's nothing new going on, it can be comforting to keep in touch.
4. It's okay to visit home, but don't make a habit out of it.
I think it's really important to spend a weekend at home if you need it, but if you're pretty close to home and have many opportunities to go back, don't go every chance you get. You still want to give yourself some time to adapt and cope with the challenges of getting adjusted.
5. Learn about your new surroundings.
If you're studying abroad, try learning more of the native language. If you're away at college, try familiarizing yourself with the campus or the stores downtown. You could also try taking different routes to get to your classes, so that you know the in's and out's of the land a little bit more.
6. Get involved.
One of the best ways to cope with sadness, nostalgia, or homesickness is to keep busy. It's easy to isolate yourself when you're not very involved and don't have meetings or events to attend, but if you put yourself out there, you'll be surrounded by people who can help lift your spirits.
7. Look forward to new opportunities.
I know how hard it is to look towards the future when the present is so dreary, but things really do start to look up with time. The best thing you can do for yourself when you're homesick is to be happy about the opportunities with which you are being blessed. If you're studying at a college or university, it's OK to be homesick, but use the time away to meet new people, make connections in your field of interest, and join new clubs. If you're studying abroad, look forward to all the new people and sights you will experience.
8. Try to balance the old and the new as best as you can.
Balancing acts are tricky, but they're necessary for this situation. You don't want to dwell on the past too much, or so much that you're not living in the moment. However, you also don't want to forget the past completely. It can be healthy to remember things from a happier time or place.
9. Keep a journal.
I definitely preach about this one way too often, but journaling works wonders if you're going through a hard time. You can make a list of the reasons why you miss the past, or what you specifically miss, and you can make a list of reasons why you love your new home. Writing can help you see the good and bad in the situation.
10. Find a comfy spot in your new place.
Whether it's your bed, a chair in your living room, a certain room in the library, or a quiet coffee shop, find a spot that makes you feel relaxed. In a new setting, it's easy to get overwhelmed, but having a go-to spot will make life a little bit easier.
11. Tell old stories to new friends.
Tell your roommate about your other best friends from back home. Tell your new friends all of the crazy things you and your siblings did while growing up. Tell people about your old life and smile as you look back on those memories.
12. Make playlists to lift your spirits.
It's hard to listen to upbeat music when you're in a somber mood, so I won't push that one on you. Instead, make a playlist full of throwback songs. The playlist can consist of songs you used to listen to in the car with your dad, songs you and your best friends danced to in elementary school and middle school, or songs that you associate with happy memories in general.
13. Write letters and encourage others to do the same.
Texts, video calls, and emails are great because they involve instant communication, but there's something special about holding a handwritten letter. I personally think they mean more because they're personal and take more time to create.
14. Send care packages to loved ones.
I absolutely love receiving care packages as a college student, but who says you can't send them as well? If you're shopping and you see something that your grandma will love, mail it to her. It will let her know that you were thinking of her. It feels good to give and can make you feel a little closer to home.
15. Realize that things are temporary.
Although it's hard to think like this when times are rough, know that one day you might be dying to have this moment back. One day you'll be in your forties and you'll wish you had the same responsibilities and possibilities that you had in college. One day you'll be telling your kids about the time you studied abroad, and you'll wish you could go back to that amazing place. Remember: "Your current situation is not your final destination."
16. Know that other people are in the same position.
Here's a final thought to ease your mind: you're not alone. When you're nostalgic, it can definitely feel that way. It feels that way because you're the only one missing that specific house or your specific family. But there are so many others who had great childhoods and also wish to go back. It's normal to feel nostalgic.
While some of the best days of your life may be behind you, know that some of the best days are also yet to come.