1. You have an unofficial assigned parking spot.
Just so you know you can find your car again you religiously park in the same spot every time. Green level right next to the Macy’s entrance… you betcha.
2. You know the BEST time to go to the mall
Weekday mornings before lunch time, it’s basically a ghost town.
3. And going to the mall on the weekends is a joke
Even you aren’t crazy
enough to want to go to the Mall of America on the weekends, and if you absolutely
have to, you go right as it opens.
4. You have a legit game plan
When you walk through those doors you know exactly what stores, and in what order you will be stopping.
5. Fields trips and tour groups are a worst nightmare
It’s almost as if we can feel their presence before we spot them. The dead give away is the amount of go pros and fanny packs spotted among the group.
6. You know the layout by heart
.
Those big maps strategically placed through out the mall are useless to you. You know exactly were each (yes there are multiple) Victoria’s Secret, Pink, and Bath and Body Works is located.
7. Which Caribou Coffees always has a line and which one never does
Secret tip: The Caribou
Coffee in the walkway to the Radisson Blu is almost always empty… and it’s newer, so it’s the nicest one. And yes... you will see more Caribou Coffees than
Starbucks in the mall.
8. You are a master of weaving through crowds
Due to the abundance of visitors people tend to walk extremely slow and stop randomly in inconvenient places, this has trained you to instinctively swerve around the selfie taking tourist.
9. It feels like Christmas when new stores/ areas are unveiled
An even bigger Lululemon? A two-story Forever 21! New food courts!!! It’s almost too much to handle.
10. But you have a slight anxiety attack when your usual path is under construction
Woah, where did this road come from? What do you mean I can’t turn right here anymore? Why is there some big wall where my favorite store was? We have
all encountered this feeling once or twice with the renovations.
11. It will always be Camp Snoopy
Even though it has been 10 years since the indoor amusement park has been renamed it seems nearly impossible to call it anything other than Camp Snoopy. After all, Peanuts creator, Charles Schulz is a Twin Cities native.
12. The log chute
.
All the other rides seem to change, but the good old log chute still looks the same as it did when you rode in it with your parent. Having to walk around the mall wet after that doesn’t even phase you.
13. Black Friday
You are either suicidal and crazy enough to attempt going to the death trap on the busiest shopping day of the year…or you are smart enough to stay far far away from MOA.
14. You have gone to at least one event inside the mall
Whether it was a Big Time Rush concert in middle school, participating in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) walk, or having a birthday party/ scavenger hunt you have made great lasting memories.
15. It counts as your workout for the day
The Mall of America is a mile loop and when you go through all three levels at least once, throw in the stairs, and add the weight of your bags, it’s basically like going to the gym… right?
16. No other Mall will ever compare
You admittedly look down on other malls and are shocked by how small they are. No other mall will ever be the same as the Mall of America.
