Being sick while you're away at college is a special kind of torture. You have to go class and adult while coughing up a lung and sneezing forever. You have to decide to use your very limited number of unexcused absences. There are so many decisions to make and you’re not in any state to make them.

1. Can my parents check me out of class?

Best thing about college: you don't have to convince your parents to let you stay home when you're actually sick or when you're "sick."

2. Do I miss class today when I'm physically ill or do I skip class when I am mentally exhausted?

College is literally just making decisions (usually the wrong one) and having to live with it.

3. Why are there no restaurants that specifically sell soup? I should open a soup restaurant.

I am going to look so weird just going to a restaurant and ordering soup to go. Whatever, haters gonna hate.

4. I'm not going to open a soup restaurant.

That's a dumb idea. There is a reason that there aren't restaurants dedicated only to soups.

5. Where are my tissues?

If I have to go back to the store one more time, I'll just give up and succumb to this illness.

6. No one look at me. I'm a zombie.

Like you've never been sick before. Stop judging me.

7. If I run into my crush today while I look like the bride of Frankenstein, so help me God.

Just put on sunglasses and don't make eye contact. Maybe he won't notice you.

8. Do cough drops even actually work?

Most of the time, they taste like hard candy that your grandmother keeps in her purse.

9. I need a nap or seven shots of espresso. Or both.

Starbucks, why don't you deliver?

10. How possible is that I have the Plague?

At least, I'll finally have my 15 minutes of fame if I do have it.

11. Oh, shoot. I hope I didn't mix up the DayQuil and NyQuil pills.

Well then, I definitely can't go to class if I'm going to literally pass out in the lecture. This is a disaster.

12. I lost my tissues again. How does this keep happening?

I'm going to start buying these in bulk from Sam's Club.

13. If I go home this weekend, will my parents take care of me like the child that I pretend to be?

Well, they did say that I would always be their baby so they should take care of me right? But they probably won't.

14. Whoever spread this horrible disease to me will pay.

It's just common courtesy to not give people your illnesses.

15. I can't sleep because I'm too busy dying.

Well since I'm wide awake, I might as well go over the list of things that I need to do, think about all the embarrassing moments in my life from age 4 to now, and contemplate how solve to the national debt problem.

16. I will get through this illness. I'm a strong, independent woman and I slay.

Beyonce wouldn't let a little illness get her down, and neither will I.

Take your vitamins and Emergen-C, kids! We are in the midst of flu season and allergy season is approaching. Better stock up on Puffs now. Worry now and avoid the rush.