16 Unofficial Staples Of Every Single Wedding In 2018 | The Odyssey Online
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16 Unofficial Staples Of Every Single Wedding In 2018

Brace yourselves, wedding season is coming.

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16 Unofficial Staples Of Every Single Wedding In 2018
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You have probably piled up many save-the-date invitations within the past couple months. Of course, you don't notice this until you are doing some spring cleaning and right as you begin to throw things away, there they are, staring you right in the face.

The pastel colors and loopy cursive catch your attention and you sigh to yourself. Deep down, you are pondering to yourself. "Should I really waste all this money to attend this one day?" It is a constant battle between having the will to go and wanting to go just to have something to do to kick off your summer festivities, (I mean come on, what a great way to kick off the summer).

You look back at the invitations again and slightly grimace at the one small detail—most of these invitations are set for late spring-early summer. The sudden realization washes over as you know you have to begin preparing, whether it's for that bridesmaid's dress, groomsman tux, or just to attend as a guest, only to watch this one person (or two people) that you've known your whole life give themselves away to holy matrimony.

Months fly by and suddenly, you are either standing up at the end of the aisle as a bridesmaid or groomsman, or you are sitting with some friends or family as a guest surrounded by a sea of people that you either A) haven't seen in ages or, B) that you don't know. The fun is about to begin.


1. There is always nervousness, everywhere.

Of course, it is a wedding, but you cannot help but watch as you see some of the bridesmaids, mother-of-the-bride and in rare cases, the groom's party scramble around behind the scenes because they forgot something.

2. There is always someone making the crowd laugh.

If you are like me, whenever I go to weddings, it is always my uncles and cousins making terribly hilarious jokes at the most inappropriate times...and it is usually just as the bridesmaids are walking down the aisle. Nonetheless, it can happen just moments before the wedding commences, just to lighten the intense mood, which is always a great thing to do. Let the jokes fly!

3. There is always that one snobby fashionista.

You know the one that always has to make some sort of snarky comment about someone's outfit? I mean sure, if the bride makes a questionable choice about her bridesmaids’ dresses and everyone notices, that is one thing, but do we really want to hear about whether or not someone was wearing the last season's Alexander McQueen? I don't think so.

4. There is always someone that gets excessively emotional the moment the bride walks.

It is normal to get teary-eyed as the bride floats down the aisle as she looks like a princess for a day. However, seeing someone just go in full out sob mode, especially if this person is not a close friend or relative...that is somewhat embarrassing. Get it together, man.

5. There is always that awkward lull interrupted by a baby.

If you have been to a wedding, then you know exactly what this lull is. It is usually when the ordainer begins reading passages from their holy book and begin to talk about the meaning of love. Suddenly, the silence is broken by none other than someone's crying or cooing baby. People laugh briefly, especially if the ordainer plays along with it and then move on.

6. There is always that moment where people look around after the infamous "speak now" phrase.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace" is the most intense 20 seconds of any wedding because everyone is looking around to see if anyone has the nerve to speak up. In most cases, no one tends to speak up (thankfully); maybe there is that one jerk who coughs just to stir the nerves of the bride and groom-to-be, but otherwise, it tends to end well.

7. There is always crying during the vows.

Whether it is the bride or the groom or both, tears are always shed during the vows. Even those who swear that they do not cry might tear up at such a beautiful moment. There is not a dry eye in the venue; it is all just pure emotion.

8. There is always that one person that whistles loudly when the bride and groom kiss.

I mean, we are pretty sure it's the best man or the overjoyed uncle that had too much to drink before going to the wedding. We just know it is an ear-splitting whistle.

9. There is always that obnoxiously long line at cocktail hour before the reception begins.

It is the big wedding pregame before everyone gets completely smashed over the signature wedding drink or some sort of intense mix of whiskey, beer, and a hint of scotch made by that one uncle who swears he’s a bartender. Either way, if you are parched like me who just wants water or sprite to start off the night, prepare to wait for a solid half-hour waiting for those drinks.

10. There is always that cheesy entrance song.

That is not the problem, though. The problem is when you begin to belt along to the song because you have heard the song played on the radio day in and day out. You have to give props to the bride and groom…even though the people sitting at the table are looking at you strangely for singing along.

11. There will always be phones out during the first dance.

It is inevitable, there’ll be tears. You just see the beautiful married couple sway along to “their” song and everyone’s going to want to take a picture, everyone. So to anyone getting married out there: that no-phone policy rule is your best bet so no one’s trying to fight with the other just to get a nice of you. That is why there is photographers, folks.

11. There is always that moment where the bride and groom smash cake in each other’s faces.

Does anyone ever wonder how terrible that must be for the bride who has to fix her make up later? That is my only worry.

13. There is always that one cheesy maid of honor and embarrassing best man making the toast.

Face it, would they really be the best friends of the bride and groom if they didn’t make them cry or humiliate them with embarrassing stories? Sometimes I feel that people toast the maid of honor and best man for making them laugh and cry within a span of ten minutes.

14. There is always that one person who is the first to run out to the dance floor.

It might be someone you know very well, it might not be. All you know is this: they started the party, not the bride, not the groom, they did. They could have been anywhere in the reception venue but, the moment that one song came on, they were the first one out there.

15. There is always that one person who does the most to catch the bouquet.

You know the one. It is as if they are playing a game of tackle football just for the bouquet. They do not care who you are, where you are from, but they want that bouquet more than anyone and they will gladly claw you for it. Just stay out of their way, unless you are that person. Then more power to you, warrior.

16. There is always that one person who needs to be hauled out of the reception.

They drank excessively and got a little rowdy. The moment you see that happening, you probably wonder if it’s time to go home for you. If you are having a good time, sure, feel free to stick around. If you know it is late, you should probably head on home. Kudos to you, my friend, you have survived a wedding.

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