Anxiety is a term that's thrown around very lightly, often used to describe feelings during random points of stress during life. However, anxiety is an actual mental disorder with way more than meets the eye. Anxiety is not just getting nervous around roller coasters or freaking out before your big exam. Sometimes, anxiety is panic attacks that come without warning and a constant feeling of uneasiness right at your core. Individuals with anxiety can sometimes be the most difficult to relate to, but the easiest to love.
Be that as it may, here are 16 things you should know if you're in love with someone who has anxiety.
1. They won't take compliments well.
Anxiety is often coupled with low self-esteem. If you tell your significant other that they're beautiful or handsome, they may seem to just brush it off. It's not because they don't appreciate it, because they truly do. It's most likely because they don't always feel deserving of compliments or they easily become embarrassed by them. Keep the compliments coming.
2. They're going to want a lot of personal time with you.
This isn't because they don't like hanging out with the rest of your friends; they really do. However, sometimes groups of people, even small ones, become taxing to people with anxiety. Make sure to spend some time alone with your significant other. This will strengthen your bond with each other and help their mental health.
3. They are going to worry a lot.
Sometimes, your significant other will be lying awake at night thinking through a bunch of "what if" scenarios. What if I'm too boring? What if they find somebody else? What if they decide they don't love me anymore? What if they don't think I'm as good as their ex? Yes, the worries may seem unreasonable to you, but they are very real to them. Just give some reassurance.
4. They are going to overthink every little thing you say.
If you phrase something wrong and it comes out not how you intended, your significant other is going to dwell on it for days. If you mention an idea once that makes them uneasy, they'll constantly think that it's still on your back burner. Try and think before you speak; it'll save you both a lot of stress.
5. They're going to express their love to you quite often.
People with anxiety tend to love the hardest; they'll get nervous that you don't know how they really feel. Whether it's a spontaneous "I love you" text or a long-winded love letter, they just want you to know that they love you. Appreciate it.
6. They may not want to tell you why they're anxious.
Sometimes when you're hanging out, your significant other may be quiet. Maybe they had a bad day or maybe they're feeling as if the future is terribly bleak. Whatever it is, even if they don't feel like sharing, they'll appreciate that you care and that you're there with them.
7. They won't want you to see them break down.
Whether it's a couple of tears or a full blown panic attack, that's not the state they want you to see them in. Most likely, they'll turn away, refrain from talking, try to hold in their sniffles, or tell you to go away. They don't want you to think they're weak. Be considerate, but let them know you're there, no matter what.
8. They may want you to make most of the decisions.
It may be deciding between two restaurants for dinner or what movie to watch that night. Whatever the decision is, they'll become anxious that their decision is the "wrong" one and not what you actually want to do. Don't always try and push the decision out of them; just try and go with it.
9. They may try to balance a million things at once.
Often times, anxiety disorders can go hand-in-hand with perfectionism. If your significant other tries to add more to their already busy school load, don't try and tell them they're crazy. You may tell them that they need some down time, but they don't feel that way. Most likely, they're terrified of taking a break; there's always stuff that can be done. Just be there for them and help them relax when you're together.
10. They'll hope that you know their anxiety signs.
If you guys are out and significant other is feeling anxious or uncomfortable, they may have a certain pattern of behaviors. Perhaps they'll excuse themselves to the bathroom a lot or maybe they'll open up their phone and start coloring. They may bite their nails or insistently scratch their fingers. Whatever it is, if you notice these signs, put your arm around them and let them know you're there.
11. They'll appreciate the little things a lot.
If they tell you that they had a really bad day and your pop over to their place with hot cocoa, they'll smile despite the rough day. If you leave random love notes around their room, they'll save them forever. It's the little things that let's them know you love them that makes them happy. You won't ever go unappreciated.
12. They are going to want to have a plan.
Yes, sometimes spontaneity is fun. Everyone loves a random adventure However, for ideas created ahead of time, they're going to want a detailed plan. This goes for everything in their lives -- school, chores, relationships, you name it. If you open up their planner, more likely than not you'll see a "to-do" list of things that must get done. Try and create a balance between planning and spontaneous adventures.
13. They'll hate if you think their medications should solve everything.
Newsflash -- meds don't automatically make anxiety go away. Yes, they should, ideally, ease and lessen the symptoms, but taking a tiny pill every night isn't going to be their automatic cure. Don't assume it's making them 100% okay. It's not.
14. They'll only open up about their anxiety with you when they're ready.
If your significant other tells you about their struggles with anxiety or other mental illnesses, don't take it for granted. This means they trust you a lot. Don't let them down.
15. They don't want you to be scared to talk to them.
Yes, they have their own problems going on, but so do you. Don't get nervous about being a burden by talking to your significant other. Just like you want to help them, they want to help you.
16. They're going to love you in ways you've never been loved before.
Appreciate them saying "I love you" and holding your hand. Appreciate their fingers running through your hair and their soft kisses on your lips. Appreciate their openness to laugh, smile, and be their goofy self with you. Appreciate to randomness and the romantic gestures. They love you a whole bunch. They trust you with everything.
