2016 is a little over halfway over. It's been a crazy ride honestly. Unfortunately during these past few months this year, which we thought would be the best ones yet, have killed so many of the things we love. Here is a look back at 16 things that this year has brutally murdered so far.
1. Harambe
R.I.P. my dude. You will always be our beloved gorilla. You are our inspiration, our muse, our homie in the jungle who was taken from us too soon. What can I say Harambe? The stupid Zoo took you away from us, but we will mourn you for the rest of our days. Ily bro rest in peace </3
2. Panthers Super Bowl Dream
The heart breaking moment. Everyone in Charlotte believed. They dreamt of Cam and Luke dancing with rings on their hands at night. They prayed every Sunday for God to send them this blessing. They needed a W because for far too long they've been plagued with L's. You thought it was in the bag. You thought there is no way that old dude Peyton could win another one, but y'all thought wrong. Lol better luck next year (JK Who Dat losers).
3. Credit Scores and Debt Free Lives
Seriously what in the heck is up with these horrendous college prices. I'm sorry but why in the hell am I paying a 5,000% markup for the SAME EXACT MAJOR AT THE SAME EXACT UNIVERSITY THAT MY MOTHER WENT TO. This is ridiculous and you idiotic congress people need to get in check and fix this crap because there is no need for me to pay a 5,000% mark up when we all know the dollar has not inflated by 5,000% since the early 90's. Also why are textbooks costing me my first born and the blood of 12 virgins. Straight up dumb.
4. OKC Thunder ever winning again
Kevin Durant left and so did Oklahoma's hopes for happiness and a blessed season next year. I mean you have Westbrook, but until I see him take over KD's restaurant and make it Brussel Sprout themed, there is no hope. Sorry pals.
5. A Happy 2017-2020 Time Period
Seriously. Out of all the people that were running we get stuck with Trump and Hillary. WHAT THE HECK AMERICA. I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed in you because you are stupid. Good news though is Gary Johnson, our last string of hope. Also he is actually really good so vote for him and lets shake things up.
6. Pokemon GO!
Many of y'all might think that Pokemon Go has revived the Pokemon world but y'all thought wrong. I am just trying to buy a cheap version of Pokemon Leaf Green for Gameboy Advanced SP so that I can relive my childhood, but no, this stupid game has caused the price of simple and enjoyable past time to skyrocket. Plus, you actually have to walk everywhere for this game and that's stupid.
7. Chick-fil-A Sauces
In case you missed it I wrote an entire article on this epidemic because that's how passionate I am about it. I'm still bitter if you can't tell.
8. Olympic Gold Medals
I don't even know why other countries bothered to show up the Rio Games because America is number one and we will win all the golds, so go home and try again in 2020.
9. Taylor Swift
This little slithery snake has been caught, trapped, and shown to the world. She may want to be excluded from this narrative that she never asked to be apart of since 2009, but tough luck Taylor, you started this stupid drama and now you have to live with the consequences.
10. Full House
Fuller House is a straight up disaster and must be stopped. The show sucks and it is ruining the good name of Full House. Stop trying to make this happen because it is dumb.
11. The Rap Industry
Who let DJ Khaled out of his cage because I have some issues with you. 1. His new songs are crap, 2. His songs are terrible, 3. He is bringing Drake down with him.
12. That One Girl
Remember when Beyonce sang about Becky with the good hair. Yeah, that girl is done for. Also the cult of Beyonce followers straight up trashed poor Rachael Ray because they thought she was Rachel Roy. Terrible accident. RIP Becky and Rachael Ray.
13. Good Dreams
Have you seen the new horror movies out there recently? There is a demonic nun running around and I have had nightmares ever since. This is getting out of hand and I need Hollywood to go back to making movies like Nightmare on Elm street because there's no chance of Freddy Krueger hiding out under my bed, but a demonic nun is entirely possible.
14. Instagram
They made this crazy new feature about a story that only lasts for 24 hours, except that is exactly what Snapchat does. Instagram, you're being ridiculous.
15. Cheap Concert Tickets
Y'all seen the prices to go see Beyonce or Adele? Straight up highway robbery.
16. Harambe (again)
Let my dude rest in peace and stop making jokes and memes about him. It isn't funny.
