This is a picture of me and my boyfriend of nearly a year and a half, Chad. I'm currently finishing up my senior year of high school in Pennsylvania and Chad is starting as a sophomore in college in Washington.
No, not the Capitol. Yes, the state.
The distance between us is around 3,100 on a good day. There will always be difficulties that every couple faces, but I wanted to point out some things that we as a long distance relationship go through.
1. Deciding if you're going to lie when strangers ask how you met.
Now, I'll be upfront with my close friends and family. But I don't need unnecessary judgment from someone I barely know and probably won't see again, so I will lie.
I have lied to people more strangers than I have actually told people the story about how Chad and I met.
2. Airplane tickets are getting more and more expensive.
At least, depending on the time of year the two of you are both free. And then when that happens the tickets are nearly $600.
3. Trying to explain to your friends that no, he's not a catfish, and yes, we have actually met.
In the early stages of our relationship, I'll be the first to admit that I was rather nervous that Chad sounded too good to be real. Considering the amount of time we spend on FaceTime, though, I would have honestly been impressed with the amount of dedication put into his ruse if he ended up being a catfish.
4. Time zone differences.
It's hard to talk about your day when you're getting settled into bed at ten when your S.O. is eating dinner and still wide awake. Especially after particularly long days, not being able to tell your partner something that went wrong as soon as it happens is hard to keep on your shoulders all day.
5. Knowing that other people find your S.O. attractive and you can't do anything to make them back off without looking crazy.
I would not call myself the "jealous type," but it is hard getting over the fact that you cannot show each other's worlds that you two are together except for a few days every handful of months. And when people come on too strong, and the protective side of you really does come out, they will blame their actions on simple friendliness.
Even though I know that Chad wouldn't do anything, the fact that someone can do that without any immediate repercussions is frustrating, to say the least.
6. Parents.
My mom LOVES Chad. My dad being, well, a dad, isn't too keen on him. This can make trips more than a little tricky, but I'm hoping that once high school is over and done with, the tension should cease. Fingers crossed.
7. Wishing that you could be there to comfort them after a particularly bad day.
If I had a nickel for every time I wished I could just drive ten, fifteen, twenty minutes to have a good cuddle session with Chad, I would have enough money to buy my own ticket out there.
8. No physical contact for months at a time.
No, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about holding hands, kissing, even simply being next to Chad is something of a rarity.
9. Friends that don't understand your struggles.
It isn't their fault, but sometimes it's hard to talk to a friend when they don't understand where you're coming from and the way that it weighs on you.
10. Speaking of struggles, people that aren't in long distance relationships that say that they "understand your struggle."
This is one of my major pet peeves. I used to think that being fifteen minutes away was super long, but thanks to three thousand miles, anything less than an eighth of that I don't feel sorry for. Especially when you're trying to talk to them about problems they will never experience and they claim that they know just as much and go through just as much as you do.
Newsflash: You don't know what real long distance couples go through, and until you're in one where you don't see your S.O. in person for almost an entire year, I don't want to hear it.
11. Feeling yourself get jealous of regular couples.
Sometimes I will look at a couple that has been blessed to live close together and rarely take advantage of that. I guess it's not knowing what you have until it lives across the country, but if I was in that position I would be so grateful and go out with my S.O. constantly, not just on "date night".
12. The fear that one day you'll never hear from them again.
After bad fights, and even on monotonous days, I am scared that I will never hear from Chad again. Maybe he got angry, or too sad, or maybe he just woke up and didn't feel the same way anymore. Ghosting is a much larger threat to us, even a year in, than people would expect.
13. Trying to compromise on figuring out your future.
Or at least the near future. Deciding on a college that both Chad and I can afford and like is difficult, especially because how in love he is at his current college. Not wanting to be far apart longer than we need to, it's essential that we communicate and are able to come to talk about what we like and what we're willing to compromise on.
14. Frustration with the technology used to communicate.
If I could explain to you in a single article my annoyance with FaceTime, SnapChat, and even iMessage, it would be as long as Apple's Terms & Conditions.
15. Sometimes communication gets confused.
No one's perfect, but it's a lot harder to convey your message correctly when you're limited to a tiny screen for 90% of your interactions. This is a must in every relationship, but hey, at least I'm being honest.
16. Keeping things interesting in the months that you're apart.
We're currently about two months into our eleven months of being in PST and EST, respectively. If I'm being frank, this is going to be the hardest thing we're going to be facing, and figuring out new games or talking points is difficult, to say the least.
Even though there are a lot of things to complain about, I don't think I would change my relationship in any way. Being three thousand miles away from Chad has taught me how to respect personal space, how to be patient, and has given us both the chance to grow as people while still being dedicated to our work.
After this, I think that we both can get through anything together.
