Living your life as a full blown "out" lesbian comes with questions, struggles, battles and at the beginning, lots and lots of tears. Ever since I started coming out, first to a couple of my friends, then some family and finally my grandparents, I received the same exact 16 questions each time a new person found out. It ranged from "Do you regret coming out?" or "Are you offended by all of my questions?" to finally finishing off the conversation, before they walk off with a smirk on their faces like they have defeated me, but you, my friend, have not. I have been "out" since I was 13 years old, and I've built up the craziest of tolerance for your questions, as well as the media's questions and depictions of the LGBTQ community. Maybe reading the questions I've been asked will save you time, your breath and your energy, so you don't have to ask anyone else.
When did you come out? What did your parents say?
I was in seventh grade, so I was 13 years old when I came out. I am now 21 years old. They were upset about it at first, but after about a year later, they fully started accepting me. I haven’t had any problems with my family after I've come out.
How does lesbian sex work?
When two girls really like each other, they stare into each other's eyes, they slowly undress and kiss one another, and then there's the rest. The rest is history.
Are you the boy or are you the girl?
Why does my relationship have to be thrown under the “heterosexual stereotyping?" Clearly, I’m with a girl for a reason. I am not sexually attracted to men. Therefore, I am the girl, and my girlfriend is the girl. This is a two-girl relationship.
How gay are you?
I must have missed the memo on the “How gay are you?" scale. I’m as gay as you think I am honestly. I’m just simply gay. If you think that I’m extremely gay, then I am extremely gay. If you think I’m slightly gay, then I am slightly gay. The “gay scale” is closely related to the “beauty scale." Gayness is in the eye of the beholder. It's as simple as that!
Do you regret coming out of the closet?
No, I will never regret coming out of the closet. It was honestly one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. Once I finally accepted myself for the real person I was, I was finally able to let my friends, family and basically anybody accept me for who I truly was.
I do admit - the coming out process was difficult. I was called names that were the most creative, was pushed around and was bullied, but I stood my ground. None of it truly bothered me. If I was bothered by the name-calling and bullying, that would mean my bullies won, and that’s not what my coming out story was about. It was about me. It was about me winning, and I still consider myself a winner because there is nothing that I'm ashamed of. In the process of coming out and realizing my true self, I found the love of my life, and we’re truly happy together! No regrets here.
What kind of strap on do you get at the sex shop?
It’s all on preference. You just have to venture out and try things. Whether it be a strap-on that looks like a real penis with veins included, a brightly colored veinless strap-on or even a double-sided one, it’s all up to you and your girl.
Why do you dress like a guy?
Why not? Why does it matter that I dress like a guy? Is it because I have boobs and a vagina that I instantly have to dress like a girl with my cleavage hanging out and the bottoms of my butt cheeks popping out of my Daisy Duke shorts? Hell no! I will not fall under stereotypical guidelines that society, media and the world have put on girls. I will dress however I feel like, whatever makes me comfortable in my everyday life. Being comfortable should be the first thought that crosses your mind when you get dressed, not “I want to impress Billy today, so I’m going to wear my short shorts and my crop top.”
Will you and your girlfriend have a threesome with me?
No, just because you like girl on girl action doesn’t mean we want you to be in the presence of our love-making. That act of love is a treasure for me and my girlfriend, and we don’t want anything interrupting that.
Do you hate men?![]()
No, I do not hate men. I have tons of male friends that I respect but simply don’t want any type of sexual relationship with them. One of my closest friends is a man, and he is one of the greatest guys I have ever met.
Do you miss the penis?
Don’t you want kids?
Yes, I want kids. B the way, before you ask me that follow up question, being a same-sex couple parent household will not ruin my kid. Just because I don’t have a man in my life to insert sperm into me, there are still ways for me and my girlfriend to have the family we’ve always wished for!
If you are a lesbian, why do you date women that look like men?
My girlfriend’s top asked question. I'm the one that looks like the "guy." Well, it’s not the same, and we have the same exact answer. I don't care about the way a girl looks or acts, even if it's similar to a guy. As long as she treats me the way I deserve to be treated, then looks don't matter to me. She could wear a clown costume, and I would still be madly in love with her.
Do you find men attractive at all?
No, I do not. I only find women attractive. I can carry a conversation with them. I can be their friend, and they can be my friend. They can try has hard as they want to "try to change me" and make me no longer straight. Guess what, fellas? I am a lesbian, and I will forever remain that way. Your downstairs will not change me. Don't get any ideas!
How do you feel when people outright call you a lesbian?
I am a lesbian, so therefore, call me lesbian all you want. In all actuality, you can call me by any name in the book that relates back to me being a lesbian, and I will not care. I will not be offended by your choice words.
Did you have a crappy relationship with your father that turned you gay?
No way! My dad is my best friend. He understands that things may be hard for me, no matter the situation in life I am in, but he has never tried to make it harder for me. Even if he knew that I was a lesbian when I was very young or didn’t know until I told him when I was in eighth grade, my dad has always been my best friend and will forever be my best friend.
Are you offended by my questions?
Once you reach a certain part in your life, you come to accept and/or ignore any ridicule, any bad names and anything that would be said to you that is intended to hurt your feelings. If you are trying to hurt my feelings, I give you a round of applause for trying, but try again. It probably won’t work. Once you personally accept yourself, nothing can hurt you.
