Today is my birthday so happy birthday to me! Usually, on my birthday I want to blow out a million and one candles and make a wish for each one, but this time I want to make one wish. When I make a wish, I look at what has happened to me in the past year and wish for something that I want to fix within myself. So here’s how I came up with my birthday wish for this year.

Every year has its ups and downs. This past year has challenged me so much that I've cried more than the past two years combined. I’ve doubted myself more times than ever before and I'm only 16 going on 17. I’ve doubted my abilities and my capabilities to carry out certain tasks.

When I started the early college program my life changed drastically. I wasn't just a high school student but a college student. Academic strengths and the early college program have been stereotyped to be one in the same, but there's really no connection at all. I did get good grades in high school, but college is a whole new ball game.

When I joined this program, my grades were D’s and E’s and I really began to struggle. The classes were different, the teachers didn't care, and my stress levels kept rising. I started the program with no friends, no knowledge of how this was going to work, and I didn’t even really know if I wanted to be in the program, but it turned out to be the best choice I ever made.

Despite all of the bad things that have happened, this program has helped me to challenge my intellect and think critically every day.

I use to think that you were strong only if you did not cry-- that if you didn't show anyone your weaknesses, then you are strong.

But that's not true at all, your weaknesses make you stronger. I was always the type of person to brush things off by saying “I don’t care” which worked for a little while-- people honestly thought I didn't care about anything. People believed that they could say anything about me because "I didn't care", but in reality, I thought about everything they had said. Even if it wasn't true, I still cared.

I hear people say “senior year in high school is when you're supposed to find yourself” or “college is when you really find yourself” but that's not true, you find yourself every day. Every day you find a new strength or a new weakness.

I’ve learned that you can’t live life by crying about what others say about you. You're still finding yourself. I’ve learned that crying does not make you a weak human being, it lets you know what your weaknesses are so you can fix them and become stronger. I’ve learned that you have to love yourself to be loved and you have to be friends with yourself to have friends.

You can't run from life, you have to run with it side by side.

After all of the lessons I have learned this year, I have come up with a birthday wish that makes me feel complete. My birthday wish is to keep living life the way I want too.

If you don’t cry like a newborn baby and laugh like a four-year-old that just got candy, then are you really living life?