Growing up as the oldest child in a family with multiple children can be a burden and a joy. Younger siblings have a knack for knowing how to push your buttons, but they also know how to have your back at every turn. Distance from my two younger siblings since I've been at college has give me real clarity about just how much they mean to me. I'm not always the best at saying the things that need to be said all the time, so here it is, guys. Eleven things that I want you to know...
1) I wish I could talk to you more often.
It's so hard not living in the same house. When I'm in close proximity to you guys, I get to hear about your day, get a sense of your emotions, and have casual chats with you without having to really be intentional about it. When I'm away at college, it's easy to go days or even weeks at a time without talking. Sometimes we're all busy, sometimes we just forget to talk. Sometimes we just end up sending each other cat gifs without really talking. But as awesome as that is, it's no substitute for sitting down on the edge of your bed and just talking about life.
2) You guys are truly very weird humans...and I love it.
It wasn't until I got to college and had to make friends with people that had never met you that I truly understood this. But upon explaining that my little brother once smashed a watermelon in the backyard in front of my new boyfriend "just for fun", or the fact that my little sister literally yells and has full conversations in her sleep, I realized that my siblings are a pack of weirdos. Those little things are what make you guys special though, and they're what make you my siblings. I wouldn't have you guys any other way. You keep me laughing, you keep me on my toes, and I love you for it.
3) It's hard work to find people other than you who like all the same things I like.
Whether it's books, TV, activities, sports, music...somehow, living in the same house has kind of led us to adopt some of the same favorite things. It's weird to get in a car with someone and not immediately know every song on the CD that's playing, or to explain why one of our favorite Netflix series is worth watching. Thank you guys for having good taste in most things, and for enjoying those things with me.
4) I see things that remind me of you all the time.
Sometimes it's as simple as seeing your favorite food in the dining hall, or doing a double take when I see a person who looks slightly similar to you. Other times, it'll be when I see a TARDIS sticker on someone's laptop or sweatshirt bearing the logo of an SEC football team. You guys are never far from my mind and heart, and every time I see something that reminds me of you, it makes being far away from you a little bit more difficult.
5) I brag about you all the time.
Literally. All. The. Time. Little brother scored a touchdown in his football game? Everyone knows. Little sister got nominated for homecoming court? Everyone knows. Not only does everyone know, but they've seen pictures, read articles, and listened to me explain every detail of the occurrence in painstaking detail. I celebrate your successes so hard that you'd think they were my own. I love showing off how amazing my siblings are to the people around me.
6) I wish more people were as honest with me as you are.
Close friends can be great at being 100% honest, don't get me wrong, but I really miss the straight, unapologetic way that you two communicate with me. There's an unwritten rule of siblinghood that allows a sibling to be honest to the point of brutality, if it's truly for the greater good. I can't thank you two enough for the number of times you've saved me from doing or saying stupid things, simply by being straight with me. Sometimes I find myself lacking people who will tell me that I don't really need that $20 dollar tee shirt, or that I should really stop telling that stupid joke. As a result, I'm perpetually $20 poorer and quite a bit lamer without you guys.
7) No one gets me the way you guys do.
You really get to know a person when you spend over a decade and a half living together under the same roof. You guys know me, inside and out, without me having to explain anything to you. You know me in a way that no one else on earth does. You know where I come from, how my brain works, what makes me tick. You know what makes me hurt and what makes me happy and you always, always know what to say. No one knows the full extent of my humanity the way you two do. And the fact that you love me despite knowing me so fully is something that keeps me grounded when I'm struggling.
8) I miss you.
Too much sometimes. I'm so lucky to have siblings who are also my best friends. I miss your personalities, your laughs, your facial expressions, your points of view. I miss spending time with you and I miss making memories with you. I miss living in the same house as you and being close to you. I miss making fun of Mom and Dad with you, and watching stupid TV shows with you, and eating meals with you. I miss playing with the dog together and riding in the car together. I even miss sharing a bathroom with you...sometimes.
9) I admire you.
I really don't think that I say this as often as I should. I know that sometimes I can seem overly critical of you and that I can seem too focused on my own accomplishments to really honor yours. But the truth is, I wildly and totally admire you. I see amazing qualities in both of you that I have never had. There is determination, kindness, leadership, joy, passion, and empathy in you two that I wish I saw in myself. I see the amazing things that you are doing and it gives me motivation to be better, to be more like you. You two set an example worth following, and I look up to you so much.
10) You make me so proud.
I can promise you that I am more proud of who you are than you can possibly imagine. Watching you two grow up into incredible and respectable adults makes my heart soar. I am honored to share my name and story with people who inspire me the way you do.
11) I love you.
More than you will ever, ever know.
For Justin and Lauren, the only other people on earth who know exactly what it's like to be an Anderson kid.
