As the clock strikes midnight, people around the world will grin ecstatic smiles and be consumed in the untapped and exciting opportunity that lies within the upcoming year of 2017. Each one of us will think to ourselves “this is going to be my year”.

People around the world think they’re going to turn into green tea drinking yogis and new go getters… all ideas induced by a simple change of calendar. Whether it is telling ourselves we are going to lose 100 pounds or get a 100 on an exam, we are all going to make a resolution that we might or might not achieve.

15. “I’m going to learn a new word every day.” If you can’t remember what you ate for breakfast yesterday morning, chances are this is not going to be successful.

14. “This is going to be the semester I get a 4.0, I feel it.” Says every college student ever.

13. “I will limit my wine intake to once a week.” Poor Olivia Pope would not be able to stick to this one.

12. “I’m going to give back to the environment.” Says the person holding a plastic water bottle.

11. “I am going to cut all toxic people out of my life.” You say that every day Becky. If you’re not doing it now, you’re not going to do it next year.

10. “I’m going to try and say the word ‘like’ less.” That’s like, totally not going to happen.

9. “I’m going to spend less time on my phone.” Goodbye Instagram, I love you my dear friend.

8. “I am going to be less vain.” Yes, okay… and how many selfies do you post a day?

7. “I’m going to spend more time on my career/job.” I don’t quite think you understand how often Netflix updates.

5. “I’m going to dedicate more time for me.” What are you going to do with that time? Watch Netflix? Ride horses on a beach? Asking for a friend.

4. “My resolution is to have no resolution.” Did you hear the words that just fell out of your mouth?

3. “I’m going to be more kind to others.” Are you mean to them now? Do we need to reevaluate this relationship?

2. “I am going to try and enjoy the little things in life.” This is do-able.

1.“I’m going to eat healthy and exercise every day.” Que the Jennifer Aniston wannabes.

Good luck to all and Happy New Year!