Welcome to the family. Where you stuff your face and have fantastic parties. There's one culture across america that many families are associated with and it's absolutely amazing to be apart of (of course, I'm biased). Whether you have friends who you know are Italian-American or you yourself are apart of the culture, you know that there are many things that make your family special.
In no way will what I expereience and say here be the same for other people who are apart of the culture. And some of these examples can be applied to other cultures, not just Italian-American. A lot of them can be applied to every family out there, but from the heavily populated Italian-American area in New Jersey I'm from and my parents are from, these are the things I've picked up on over the years.
Let's get this party started, SALUTE(cheers!).
1.) Christmas Eve Dinner is a Circus with 7 Courses
Oh wait, you thought we stopped after the shrimp? No honey, we eat from 3pm - 8pm. There is no shortage when it comes to food on this fantastic holiday. You might be wondering why do you have 7 different types of food that keep you eating from day till night. Well friends this is called The Feast of the Seven Fishes or in fancier terms, The Vigil. In all seriousness, I do not even eat breakfast or lunch in preparation for this meal. Its the best because not only is the food good but theres always so many people to enjoy the day with create amazing memories. LET'S EAT.
2.) Weddings are a Big Deal
With a guest list that could be up to 280 people, you literally might be inviting everyone and their mother. If you didn’t invite Tony, his mother and his mothers cousin then how will the whole town know what your centerpieces look like and how many tines were on the salad fork. Inviting the mailman was for giggles but he surprisingly showed up, (probs for the open bar). But really my mom and dad had over 250 people and I can attest from their wedding video that their reception was INSANE.
3.) Saying strange words that no one understands but you and your family
Words like scashade (Sca-shad), which means dirty and broken or ruined is not in everyone else’s vocabulary apparently. Your friends look at you weird and are convinced that you and your family make up you own language. but you swear to them that everyone from home really do say these words.
4.) Your family is ginormous and nuts
You have about 8 aunts and uncles and 16 cousins. Sometimes you don't even know you have the relative until you meet them. Family gatherings are always a party even if it's just for cake on your birthday.
5.) There's always some girl in the family whose name is Maria or Marie
Could be an aunt, could be your mom, sister or cousin. Could be their first name, middle name or confirmation name. There will ALWAYS be a marie/maria signing a card to you.
6.) Talking with your hands is second nature and you don’t realize your doing it until someone points it out
You just get so damn excited and eager to talk about something that you hands are flailing in the air like you literally just don’t care. Your friend has to ask you to calm down because you hand motions are distracting them from your story or you look like you're about ready to knock something over.
7.) Pronouncing meats and cheeses differently and people trying to reciprocate the way your saying it
Mozzarella (mutz-adel), Prosciutto (pro-schute), Braciola (bra-jol) and Ricotta (rig-ot). Don't look at me weirdly when I order Mutz-adell sticks, ok.
8.) At least one of your family members came over from Italy
Probably a great grandparent or even a grandparent who paved the way for your family to live the wonderful cultured life you live now.
9.) You are compared to the cast of the jersey shore
We. Are. Not. Them. Please for all that is holy, lets pretend that show never happened.
10.) Everyone thinks someone in your family is connected to the mob
I can't even tell you how many times people have thought my dad was connected. He is just a very tall, italian looking man who sometimes looks scary when he's in a suit. He's literally a chemical engineer. but that doesn't stop friends from thinking that its just his cover.
11.) You are VERY protective of your family
No one dares cross any one in your family knowing very well that if you mess with one you mess with all. Who knows, maybe you do have an uncle with secret mob connections that would go after anyone who hurts you...
12.) People who don’t eat pasta because “too many carbs”
Pasta is at least 4 out of 7 dinner meals a week. It's life. But whatever, if you don;t like to eat it all the time, you do you and live your life no carb style while I stuff my face with all the Penne Vodka I can fit in my mouth.
13.) Speaking of pasta, it's called gravy. Not sauce.
Don't fight me on this. Shoutout to my mom who makes amazing gravy!
13.) You MUST kiss or hug every single family member hello
“Make sure you kiss everyone hello” your mom would say right before you entered a family function. Its not only a sign or hello but also respect, unless you have those relatives that pinch your cheeks.
14.) Thank your lucky stars that everyday you were born into a culture filled with a lot of love, family, tradition and… food.
You may be apart of a crazy family that doesn’t know which way is up or down, but your blessed to be apart of the italian culture where everyone loves each other at the end of the day. Plus the food is pretty bomb as well.
