If you've been following my recent writing, you'll know that I've been focusing on the topic of self-love. To hear my personal experience story, check out my article from last week: Learning to Love My Body. Self-love doesn't come easily, but it is so worth it. Here are 15 tips on how to get to a place of self-acceptance!

1. Make a list of things you love about yourself.

These can be totally unrelated to appearance, too! Keeping a list of anything you like and appreciate about yourself will help you focus on how great you are.

2. Stop judging other people’s bodies.

Half the reason you judge yourself so harshly is that you imagine what other people are thinking about you. In reality, they probably aren’t noticing what you are. But when you accept others for how they look and stop commenting on other people’s bodies, it helps you get into the habit of not judging yourself.

3. Change your social media presence.

I used to follow lots of fitness accounts on Instagram because I love working out and getting new ideas from experts. But a lot of these accounts doubled as dieting/weight loss/”skinny inspiration” accounts, and seeing these messages daily wasn’t helping me progress my self-image. Now I only follow Instagram accounts that promote exercise in a healthy way--they share healthy eating tips, but the meals they share are HEALTHY, not low-calorie. I follow many plus-sized models to normalize those images in my head, and I follow those who lift people up.

4. Wear clothes you love.

There’s no such thing as “dressing for your size/body type” anymore. Wear what you love, forget about what you don’t. Wearing clothes that you feel confident in, rather than what you think you “should” be wearing will change how you see yourself.

5. Stop comparing yourself to how you used to look.

If you hate your body because you don’t look like you did in high school/before you had a kid/before you worked full time, you’ll never be satisfied. You aren’t always going to look like you did when you were 16, and that’s a good thing. Your body is growing and changing, adapting to being an adult/parent/whatever, to help you fulfill that role. There’s a quote I love that has to do with this: “Your body isn’t as small as it once was, but honestly, the world needs more of you”, and I think of it anytime I compare myself to what I used to look like.

6. Look at yourself naked.

Okay, hear me out on this one. I started doing this when I wake up in the morning, or before I get in the shower, or whatever. There is no better way to appreciate your body than when you’re fully naked and no one is around. It helps you realize that you are exactly how you are supposed to be, and you naturally look beautiful. If you don’t know what you even look like, how can you appreciate it?

7. Change negative thinking patterns.

It’s hard to be positive about your body when you’ve been putting yourself down for so long, but you can change your habits. When I think something negative about myself, I find myself going down a chain of insults. Instead, change it to a positive. Don’t think “I hate my hair, why can’t it look like ____’s”, think “wow, ___ has really nice hair, and so do I. I may not always appreciate my hair as much as I should, but I know I’m on the path to loving it.” Catching your negative thinking is tough, so it’s good to...

8. Find friends to help you!

Everything is better with friends, and self-love is no exception. Make a pact with your friends that when someone insults themselves, you’ll call each other out, because you all truly want to get better. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, but more than that, people who lift themselves up and accept their bodies--you become the people you spend time with so make sure you’re in a positive environment.

9. Appreciate what your body does for you.

We aren’t put on this earth to look good, regardless of the media wanting you to believe that. You don’t need to focus on looking good 24/7, your body certainly doesn’t! Its only job is to focus on keeping you alive. Things you hate, like pimples, are your body trying to get bacteria out of your skin. When you appreciate your body for what it can do, not what it looks like, it’s easier to love.

10. Set goals unrelated to appearance for your body.

Instead of trying to lose a certain amount of weight, try to run a certain number of miles. Instead of trying to look toned, set a goal to be able to lift a certain amount of pounds or do however many pushups. Again, love your body for what it can do, not for what it looks like.

11. Think about how much time you've gained back.

Dieting and hating yourself takes a lot of time, to be honest. Counting calories, working out excessively, changing outfits a million times when buying clothes to “look better”. By just accepting you for you, you get back SO much time. Recognize that, and spend the time on other worthwhile hobbies.

12. Learn to take a compliment, and to give one.

When others compliment you, say thank you instead of denying it. There’s no need to deflect a sincere compliment, and it feels good to get one. When you give compliments, it feels good for both people involved.

13. Get angry at the media.

One huge way I changed my self-image was realizing that I fell for the tricks the makeup industry, diet industry, etc had played on me. I used that embarrassment to fuel my anger towards change, and it helped. Once you realize that the “perfect body” and “perfect face” you believe in are completely fake and made up to trick you into spending money on things you don’t need to improve a problem you don’t have, you’ll feel silly continuing to believe the lie. You’re smarter than to fall for that lie and it’s time to prove it by giving up those “perfect” images.

14. Take selfies.

I’ve never been much of a selfie person, so it feels silly at first. But it’s the same concept of looking at yourself naked, we’re afraid of what we aren’t familiar with. I take pictures of myself when I’m feeling confident, having a good hair day, wearing a cute outfit, whatever, and when I’m not feeling so great, I look at them to remind myself that I don’t always feel bad about myself. This feeling will leave. I don’t post them, just keep them on my phone/computer/whatever for me to see. As embarrassing as it sounds, it works.

15. Don’t feel pressured to love all of you all the time.

Once you’ve tried everything else on the list, this is super important to realize. The media has given you these images for years, your own role models have insulted themselves your whole lifetime, and you’ve been beating yourself up for quite awhile. It’s going to take some time to reverse those cruel messages and replace them with loving ones. It’ll be worth it when you get there, but even people who have been doing this for years have bad days. Don’t get too down on the rough times, it’s all part of the process, and you aren’t a failure for not being positive all the time.

Hopefully one tip or another will help you begin your journey with body positivity and self love! Changing your negative self image is tough, but it is so worth it.