The only words more cringe-worthy than “final exams” might just be “group projects.”
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. You’re sitting in class ready for a lecture, and your professor walks in and doesn’t bring up his typical, yet oddly satisfying PowerPoint. You suddenly feel some type of excitement in the pit of your stomach because just maybe class is less than 15 minutes today, so there’s no need to project lecture notes.
But your excitement quickly fades when your professor pulls out the syllabus and says that this week marks the beginning of everyone’s final project. What’s worse than having a project due the week before final exam week, well group projects of course.
You look to your only friend in the class and you both give each other a mutual look of misery. Even worse, everyone is required to get into groups of four, so you’re stuck with two randos that sit in the front row and still somehow never know what’s going on.
Here are 15 people you’re bound to work with on a group project:
1. The Control Freak
This individual will literally take over the entire group project in a matter of seconds. She or he tends to be the one to “break the ice,” by being way too excited to introduce his or herself. Pretty much after the intro’s, it’s their show. Starting with the creation of the Groupme to the type of font used during the presentation, the control freak is ready to take the lead.
2. The Perfectionist
Everything causes them stress, and I mean everything. If the names are not in alphabetical order, or if an image is blurry, you’re in for a full-blown meltdown. Perfect means perfect, and a group project is no exception, so deal with it. Unlike the control freak, the perfectionist will do everything on their own because hello, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
3. The Know-it-All
“Guys, I’ve done something like this before, so let’s just do it this way.” Unlike the control freak who creates a color-coded schedule of what everyone needs to contribute and when, the know-it-all isn’t as pushy, but they still expect things to be done their way. No excuses.
4. The Quiet One
He or she tends to be quiet, both in the group chat and in group meetings. Sure, they contribute, but this person tends to be the one you forget is helping with the project, seeing as you only really notice them on paper. You usually forget their name and end up having to send them the file so they can add it themselves. At first you feel bad about it, but then again, you literally never heard them speak.
5. The Passive One
Seriously, you could recommend setting the display on fire when the presentation comes to an end, and you’ll get no resistance from them whatsoever. Even if they don’t like your idea, they’re way too passive to even try and care.
6. The Biggest Supporter
This individual is usually the happy-go-lucky one of the group, and they're also your biggest fan. You pitch an idea and they’re ridiculously supportive. They'll be the first to agree that your idea is brilliant.
7. The Constant Arguer
Anything you say is grounds for a counterargument, so beware. Eventually, you’ll get frustrated and ask what they would recommend doing, and they’ll simply say, “I was just being devil’s advocate. It’s important to think of both sides.” Thanks for your opinions…jerk.
8. The One With Anger Management
Frankly, they were mad the moment they got paired with all of you. And nothing is going to change throughout the course of the project. If it’s a semester-long group project with scheduled progress updates, good luck. You’re in store for a whole lot of attitude.
9. The One Who's Always Late
“Sorry guys…” is at the beginning of every one of their sentences. What comes after? An excuse of course. Whether their previous meeting ran late, they had to grab lunch first, or simply overslept, this person is never on time. And on the rare occasion that they are, expect them to be scrambling for papers or running around looking for an outlet to charge their laptop.
10. The Unreliable One
You previously divvied up the work, giving everyone an equal share of the workload. You soon realize that the possibility of sharing an equal workload is a mere fantasy since this member of your group is super unreliable. You can even ask them to bring a few pencils, and they'll either forget or bring mechanical pencils with no lead. "Anyone have lead?" No, no we don't.
11. The Grade Obsessor
It’s clear that he or she is only concerned with the grade. It doesn’t matter how the project gets done or when, as long as the project remains on track to an A, they can care less. They'll go along with anything, "as long as we get a good grade."
12. The Last-minute Nelly
The group is constantly reminding them to get their part of the project in, and they do…one minute before deadline. The last-minute mayhems tend to create a serious amount of stress over the course of the project, and they tend to leave a bitter taste in your mouth afterward.
13. The Hungover One
Nuff said.
14. The Designer
They literally care about nothing else other than the portrayal of the presentation. Forget about the information, the only thing that matters is whether or not the colors clash. We can’t have that.
15. The No Show
My all-time favorites are the ones who never show up. You’ve emailed them hundreds of times, sent passive aggressive texts, and even looked for them after class (but they’re never there, although that’s not a surprise). The only time you see them is at the last group meeting when everyone is putting together the finishing touches.
This is where they’ll pretend to contribute to the project recommending minor changes like adding color to the title page and animations to the PowerPoint slides. No matter how hard he or she tries to act like they contributed, you’re still not adding their name to the project.