There’s a saying that goes something along the lines of “sometimes you don’t find a book, the book finds you.” I never believed that to be true until today.
Whenever I scroll through Twitter, I often come across collections of photos with lovely quotes and distinct little scribbles of drawing. Every time I see them they immediately draw me in with their simplicity and beauty of the prose. “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur is a collection of poetry that has gone viral all over social media, and among many of my friends. I see countless artsy photos that have to do with this book. I’ve never really delved into poetry before, however I wanted to branch out and try something new. I decided to buy this book and give it a read. I now understand all the hype surrounding it.
I read it in one day, which wasn’t hard to do considering there were only 204 pages with approximately one to two sentences. It was divided into four sections including the hurting, the loving, the breaking, and the healing. Kaur takes us on a journey of the darkest and deepest sections of her mind and her life. This book touches upon love, loss, abuse, beauty, sex and sense of self. I hung onto every word as it shined lights in the darkest parts of my brain. It truly touched my soul in a way I never knew possible and her writing will forever linger in my conscience.
The Hurting
“You were so afraid
Of my voice
I decided to be
afraid of it too.”
I find that many of us are a little too timid when it comes to voicing our thoughts, feelings, and opinions. This is a lovely reminder that the fear we had originates from another place and that we must take it upon ourselves to unveil our inner most beings with no worry of judgement.
“You have sadness
Living in places
Sadness shouldn’t live.”
A somber thought, but one that hits home. Replace it with joy.
“You tell me to quiet down cause
my opinions make me less beautiful
but I was not made with a fire in my belly
so I could be put out
I was not made with a lightness on my tongue
So I could be easy to swallow
I was made heavy
Half blade and half silk
Difficult to forget and not easy
For the mind to follow."
A topic I feel passionately about and one that I write about quite often, Kaur tells us that our voice is worthy and our thoughts matter. Stop letting people downsize you because they’re too insecure with themselves. Embrace you and the way you were made.
The Loving
“you are the faint line
Between faith and
Blindly waiting”
For some reason, I love this quote and find it absolutely beautiful. For me this is about finding the right person unexpectedly, but believing that that person was meant to be in your life like the universe personally selected them for you.
“I am learning
How to love him
By loving myself”
Kaur speaks a lot about this topic throughout her poems. This idea is simply (well not that simply) that you must love yourself before anyone or anything else. Love yourself so that no one else has to, that way when someone choses to love you, it’s a whole different level; a person who appreciates you for exactly who you are. It is incredible to find a partner who is patient with you while you discover yourself.
“I do not want to have you
To fill the empty parts of me
I want to be full on my own
I want to be so complete
I could light a whole city
And then
I want to have you
Cause the two of us combined
Could set it on fire.”
In other words, a relationship is two separate people with two separate lives. You shouldn’t find your “other half” or find someone who completes you. Rather, find your compliment, find the person that brings out all the amazing things in you. Individually you two are amazing, but together you are invincible.
“You may not have been my first love
But you were the love that made
All the other loves
Irrelevant.”
And that’s all that counts in the end.
The Breaking
“You musn’t have to
Make them want you
They must want you themselves”
You cannot make anyone love, want or need you. A person is a person. Do not kill yourself in attempts to be the ideal for another because you will never, ever reach it. Spend more time focusing on being the person you want to be and the rest will follow.
“I had to leave
I was tired of
Allowing you to
Make me feel
Anything less
Than whole”
Nothing hurts quite like knowing that who you are is not enough for someone else.
“I don’t know why
I split myself open
For others knowing
Sewing myself up
Hurts this much
Afterward.”
Each and every one of us has felt this way before and it is a special kind of hurt.
The Healing
“there is a difference between
Someone telling you
They love you and
Them actually
Loving you”
This idea stung a little. “I love you” is three words and probably one of the most common lies humans tell. Maybe if we say it enough we really will feel that way and make it true? No. Nothing replaces the feeling of being with someone who only wants to see you smile and does nothing but things that make you happy and comfortable. “Do you need anything?” “Drive safe!” and “What’s on your mind?” all mean “I love you.” This is the person who is the right one for you. The one who knows somethings wrong just by looking at you.
“how you love yourself is
How you teach others
To love you”
This one sentence changed my entire thought process.
“you have to stop
Searching for why at some point
You have to leave it alone”
This hits home for anyone (like myself) who spend too much time overthinking and worrying. You reach a point where you need to stop, let it go, and give your mind a rest. You will thank yourself later.
“If you are not enough for yourself
You will never be enough
For someone else”
Hating yourself is the ugliest thing you can do and others will pick up on this too.
“you must
Want to spend
The rest of your life
With yourself
First.”
You need to love yourself because you are truly the only person who will be with you for the rest of your life. Make your body a home and your mind a friend.
As you could have probably guessed, I would highly recommend this book for anyone that needs healing and reassurance or simply a new perspective. Not only is Milk and Honey aesthetically pleasing, but beautifully worded. These are only a couple highlights of my most favorite poems within this collection, but there are so many more that I was tempted to share. This book changed me, if you have an extra few bucks to spend, this is definitely something worthwhile to spend it on.
