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15 Tinder Profiles That Will Make You Want To Quit Dating

They'll make you want to hit "delete" faster than you can swipe left.

Haley Brush

Jul 10, 2017

Ursinus College

395

15 Tinder Profiles That Will Make You Want To Quit Dating

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If you've ever been on Tinder, you know: there are all different kinds of people on the app. Some are obviously just looking to hook up, others who are actually looking for a relationship, and those who blend into the thousands of randoms that just don't seem that special. And then there are the crazies. Swipe left on enough of any variety, and you'll be heading straight for that delete button.

1. Some people really go for it.

Not exactly alluring.

2. BDSM is fine and all, but don't be a catfish.

At least use a believable picture. That's not too much to ask, is it?

3. Sometimes it's hard to tell when people are joking.

His first message was, "We matched. Does this mean I can tell my mom we're dating now?" Apparently not a joke.

4. Does he think he can use that cable as reins and just... ride out of the water?

Is it wrong to be more worried about the Jeep than about him?

5. Where did he get the idea that spit bubbles are sexy?

I don't even want to know what he plans on doing with that much spit.

6. Maybe he thinks he'll earn points for aggressive dental hygiene.

Either that or he and the spit guy are friends.

7. Tinder may be a place for hookups, but this guy is really going for it.

Ah, yes. One of those "my dick is God's gift to women" types.

8. Aaaaand then there's this guy.

Should someone tell him?

9. There are also, of course, the meme trolls.

A turkey? Really?

10. The guy who's seen some seriously weird shit.

Seriously, has he ever dated someone who hoards used tampons? Multiple people? IS THIS A THING??

11. When a profile literally says "ax murderer," it's time to swipe left.

Between the crazy eyes and the weapon, it's a definite no.

12. Can you say "gun enthusiast"?

If the last one wasn't out to kill you, this one might be.

13. So. Many. Questions.

I'm not sure which part of this picture is meant to impress more: his naked ass or the fact that he's drinking milk from the carton.

14. The real winner.

Well, at least he's honest.

15. The guy who takes his notes from HIMYM and pulls a "Naked Man".

He put those emojis there himself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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15 Tinder Profiles That Will Make You Want To Quit Dating

They'll make you want to hit "delete" faster than you can swipe left.

1. Some people really go for it.

2. BDSM is fine and all, but don't be a catfish.

3. Sometimes it's hard to tell when people are joking.

4. Does he think he can use that cable as reins and just... ride out of the water?

5. Where did he get the idea that spit bubbles are sexy?

6. Maybe he thinks he'll earn points for aggressive dental hygiene.

7. Tinder may be a place for hookups, but this guy is really going for it.

8. Aaaaand then there's this guy.

9. There are also, of course, the meme trolls.

10. The guy who's seen some seriously weird shit.

11. When a profile literally says "ax murderer," it's time to swipe left.

12. Can you say "gun enthusiast"?

13. So. Many. Questions.

14. The real winner.

15. The guy who takes his notes from HIMYM and pulls a "Naked Man".

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!