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Health and Wellness

15 Thoughts Fast Walkers Have When They’re Stuck Behind Slow Walkers

You'd be lying if you said you haven't thought at least one of these!

Jordyn Smith

Nov 02, 2015

Canisius College

366

15 Thoughts Fast Walkers Have When They’re Stuck Behind Slow Walkers

Owen J. Fitzpatrick

You’re briskly walking with a purpose toward your destination, proud that you might actually arrive early, when the epitome of a Monday appears before you— the slow walker.

1. This is not the time or the place for you to take a leisure stroll!

2. There are two imaginary lanes, fast and slow, and you are in the middle of both. GET OVER!

3. Universe, what did I do to deserve this?!

4. I walk like someone with a purpose. You need to get one!

5. I have places to be!

6. How long do I have to hover behind you before you sense my urgency?

7. Why are all four of you taking up the sidewalk? Part the waters!

8. *Obscenities galore*

9. I have long legs. I need to stride not shuffle! Look alive!

10. I’m at least a foot shorter than you and I can move faster than this!

11. Do I need to light a fire under your *ss?

12. Maybe if I step on their heels they’ll get the hint…

13. Take your swag somewhere else and walk at a normal pace like the rest of us.

14. Ain’t nobody got time for this!

15. There’s a special place in Hell for people like you.

If you are an example of one of the aforementioned and soon-to-be Hell dwellers who lack a purpose, destination, or capability of walking at a speed over 0.5 mph, please kindly consider those behind you, who desperately want to get where they’re going.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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