Okay guys, let’s be honest every worker has their struggle and your baristas are being driven nuts mainly by your mispronunciation and please guys “STOP CALLING THEM FRAPPE’S THAT IS MCDONALD’S”. Here are the basics, every barista has learned to have a support system because pumping out coffee to caffeine addicted hordes of people is crazy, and can become overbearing. So here we go with my list of things that need to be avoided in your language during your ordering and how you speak to us.
1. Remember guys, Starbucks doesn’t sell frappe’s McDonalds does.
If you’re looking for that sickeningly sweet caramel taste, go there, we make the recipe as come and to most, it's pretty delicious.
2. It’s grande not a grand.
If I had a quarter for every time just this summer I have heard grand I would be rich.
3. “I don’t really drink coffee, what do you recommend that doesn’t taste like coffee but has the coffee?”
Guys if you don’t like coffee you’re better off eating lots of chocolate.
4. “Can you change the bread on sandwiches?”
No, we can’t they’re prepackaged people.
5. Learn the sizes people, small (tall), medium (grande), large (venti), extra large (Trenta).
Don’t you dare call it a trenti because please my ears will burst if I hear that one more time. Remember your Spanish.
6. “You made this wrong, it usually tastes sweeter”.
Ma’am and sir, we make it as the recipe divulge if you get it from another store, the baristas may not have followed the recipes correctly
7. “This wasn’t what I expected, change it for a caramel”
Guys, if you’re that picky and ordering something new, check with the baristas ask them their opinion. Trust me, most are honest and will tell you if it tastes bad. We can’t control what you order.8. “Do you have the Unicorn Frappuccino?”
That was for a couple days, months ago and if you weren’t able to try it, it was terrible anyway so please give it a rest we’re all done hearing about it and really wish it would just disappear. Mango and sour powder are gross just leave it alone.9. “Do you have a flat top/small straw?”
No, if we had the flat top lids for your iced coffee that has no whip cream we would give it to you. We run out of things too. We can’t give what we don’t have. The amount of impact a flat/dome lid or small/large straw can make in a persons coffee drinking life is crazy.10. “Can I have a sleeve for my cold cup?”
No, you should not be worried, condensation is a fact of life. We can’t stop it, and wasting sleeves for a cold coffee is really rather shameful11. "Is this mine?”
Your name is clearly on the cup, we obviously took the time to look at another cup and put someone else's drink in yours.12. "Double shot correct?”
No, I intentionally avoided putting the shot that YOU paid for into the cup, because I’m mean like that, right?13. When you ask for a no foam latte at 180 degrees.
That’s nearly impossible without steaming twice the amount of milk that you asked for.
