During my freshman year I learned many things like how to evaluate triple integrals and find the focal point of a diverging lens, but I also learned so much about myself. I learned things that were not on the curriculum or on any syllabus but I was still tested over it regardless, every day. Some things were harder to learn than others and some I’m still trying to understand. Here are some things I wish I knew before I started college.
1. Friends can show up in the most unexpected places.
So talk to everyone. Don’t close yourself off from meeting new people because you’re afraid or because you think they’re different. Chances are you could be missing out on great friendships.
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2. A boy and a girl can have a platonic friendship.
Some people won’t understand this and will question your relationship with certain people. Don’t let it get to you. Sometimes all you want is someone’s friendship and that's more than okay. If they accuse you of “friend zoning” them, or decide they want nothing to do with you if you can’t see them as anything more than friends, they were not worth it anyway. Remember, you do not owe them anything.
3. Do not let numbers define you.
The numbers in your bank account or the number on the scale or even your GPA are not nearly as important as being a genuinely kind person. So don’t stress about the numbers because when people look at you, it isn’t what they see. Learn to look past the numbers and you'll start to see that there's more to you.
4. Your parents are cool people.
Being separated from them makes you realize just how amazing they really are. They were young once too and can relate to a lot of the things you are going through. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them.
5. You and your Ex are probably not going to be friends.
Regardless of how it ended, it is really difficult to progress backwards in any kind of relationship. No matter how hard you try, it’s probably best to just start moving on. This is especially true for long distance relationships because trying to mend things with someone far away can impede you from healing now. The faster you learn this, the happier you'll be.
6. If you say you’ll do it later you probably won’t. So do it now.
This applies to a lot of things: going to the gym, eating better, writing your friends from home a letter, cleaning your room. When an idea pops into your head, do it as soon as possible and don’t put it off. The longer you do, the less likely you are to actually doing it.
7. It’s okay to stay in sometimes.
The fear of missing out can be strong but don’t let peer pressure get to you. If you’d rather stay in and watch Netflix instead of going to a Toga party, do it. This also allows you to get some time alone. College is busy and you are constantly surrounded by other people. It is important to learn how to be by yourself.
8. It’s also okay to go out.
But only if you want to. Sometimes it’s nice to let go and dance a little… or a lot. Classes will get really stressful and you’ll be working hard all week so why not? You deserve it.
9. Keeping an open mind can lead to self-growth.
Be curious. Learn about other people’s religious beliefs and political opinions. People tend to avoid topics like these. But when you share yours and hear other’s, you create a flow of knowledge and it makes you respect everyone’s views.
10. You will forget about some of the things that used to make you happy.
Some of your past hobbies will be left behind because you no longer have time for them or because you simply find other things that you would rather spend time doing. It is okay but if it is really important to you, you will find time. Just try not to lose the things that bring you joy.
11. You can’t make yourself like someone, just like you can’t make others like you.
This one was a hard one to learn. As much as we all wish we could make somebody fall in love with us, we cannot force others to feel things that we want them to feel. Be yourself and if they don’t like that, there isn’t much you can do. Similarly, you can’t force yourself to like somebody who likes you. Turning people down feels just as crappy as being rejected yourself but that does not mean that you owe them anything because you feel bad.
12. Don't expect to meet the love of your life at a college party.
Go to parties expecting to have a good time with your friends or to mingle with others. Do not go to one expecting to find your soul mate, you’ll be disappointed if you try. Chances are the type of person you want to have a serious relationship with is not the type of person you’ll find at one in the morning on the dance floor of a frat house. Now, if serious isn’t your thing, go right ahead.
13. Don’t be afraid of the word "no."
Whether it’s being said to you or you’re saying it, there’s no need to be scared. Rejection comes in all forms and they all suck but learning to deal with it can help you find something even better. Whether it is a job you were going after or a cute boy, maybe it didn’t work out so that something better can come along. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to voice what you want or don’t want. Saying no to things is more than okay. Take care of you first.
14. Realize your own worth.
Don’t rely on others to make you feel pretty or smart or important. You should feel beautiful without a guy having to tell you and you should feel intelligent without looking at your grades. Don’t put your worth in the hands of others and don't let others dictate how much you should love yourself.
15. Stop waiting.
Stop waiting for Friday. Enjoy every day without wishing it was the weekend. Monday mornings can be just as magical as Sunday afternoons and just as great as Thursday evenings and just as amazing as Friday nights. It all depends on how you make them. Stop waiting for summer. Live in each moment and enjoy every season. They each have great things to offer. You’ll miss the snowy days and chilly mornings so embrace them while they last. Stop waiting for your calculus test score or for chicken nugget Tuesday or for the rain to stop or for somebody to fall in love with you. Life is what happens while you sit there and wait for things. So just live.
