Living in Brooklyn, New York is quite the experience. Here are some things that let you know you're a typical "Brooklynite."
1. Driving faster than 50 mph feels like the autobahn.
It's pretty well known that if you are taking the Belt Parkway, you'll be stuck in bumper to bumper traffic no matter what time of day it may be. Whether it be construction or the Marine Parkway bridge going up for a tiny sailboat, you're bound to be late to whatever destination you're trying to get to. And streets? Try having to hit every single light, and not exceeding 25 mph or a cop with a speed gun will catch you.
2. Your favorite places to eat are Roll N' Roaster, L&B Spumoni Gardens, and Lenny's.
You never really plan to go to any of these places, but when out with a group of friends or even on your own, they are the go to food joints for some bangin' roast beef or pizza. It really doesn't get better than spinning the RNR wheel on your birthday only to win $5. If you get a triangle slice at L&B, you're automatically seen as some kind of alien, and nobody wants to associate with you. If you can find parking under 86th street, your obvious go-to choice is the famous Lenny's for a to die for a slice.
3. Your accent can be noticed from a mile away to out-of-staters.
We never notice our accent, and we don't notice that we say "wawk and tawk and cawfee." But, everybody else apparently does. When we get angry, even the slightest bit, our accent shines through with every word we say.
4. You haven't been to the Statue of Liberty or Empire State Building unless on a school trip.
Such famous tourist sites, yet we've never been. And we really don't find a need to go because we take advantage of the fact that while driving to Bay Ridge on the belt, we can see them clear as day.
5. You dread driving under 86th street, AKA "Brooklyn China Town."
Driving under the L-train with a bunch of road-rage ridden drivers only gets worse when you look around and see that every single store is a shlock store filled with disgustingness. (If you're really from Brooklyn, you know exactly what "shlock" means.) There isn't one store that doesn't have Chinese writing on it, and you're bound to only hear the Chinese language being spoken.
6. Public transportation, in all forms, is gross.
No matter what train you take, it's bound to be filled up with way more people than it should possibly be allowed to hold. If you're lucky enough to get a seat, your go to is either the window or a seat facing backward. The station will always smell of either body odor or some kind of ungodly scent. Buses? They will get you where you need to go, but again, you'll still be stuck in traffic. And like trains, the people smell, and usually, are packed.
7. You really hate going into Manhattan.
If you're forced to drive into the city, you bring lots of cash because parking garages will up-charge the heck out of you. During your journey through the Hugh Carey tunnel (and you're now thinking to yourself: what a stupid name change), you wonder if you're actually underwater, if you are under water what you would do if the water flooded into the tunnel and if the lanes could possibly get any more narrow. You never actually want to go into the city. Times Square is not exciting, and you're still not over them closing Toys R Us. Dealing with pushy SpongeBobs or Spidermans to take a picture isn't something you enjoy doing.
8. You don't want to go see the Fourth of July fireworks, the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade or the New Year's Eve ball drop.
Why would anyone from Brooklyn actually want to go to New York-related events when we can sit at home and watch them from the comfort of our televisions? If you've been to them once, you can safely say that you definitely don't want to go a second time.
9. You are allowed to talk crap about Brooklyn, but the second anyone else tries to, you defend it like you love it.
Admit it: if you're from Brooklyn you definitely say "I hate living here." We're allowed to do that sort of thing. We're allowed to dislike our city. However, if someone who isn't from Brooklyn tries to trash talk Brooklyn, we automatically go into defense mode. Because we hate it, but it's still the greatest place to live. Sometimes. Eh.
10. You can differentiate between the different parts of Brooklyn, and don't need a GPS to get around.
Bensonhurst, Dyker, Brighton Beach, Coney Island, Marine Park, Flatbush, Bergen Beach, Bay Ridge, Sheepshead Bay. You just pictured each area in your head as you read through them. You know exactly what types of people live in each area, and you know for a fact that your neighborhood is way better than any other neighborhood.
11. There are more nail salons within a two block radius than you can count.
It's truly amazing how they all manage to stay in business. If you're female, you have your set nail salon and you generally don't change.
12. Whatever your need at the time may be, you can get it in a corner store Bodega.
If you're in the mood for a bacon, egg and cheese (you just read it in your head as one single word, no spaces), you can get a quality one at your favorite corner store deli. Your go-to drink is probably Arizona, and it's always in stock. If you're an underage teenager, you probably have stopped at one of these to buy a Four Loko. The Indian manager at the front knows you by name, and would never even think of asking you for an ID.
13. You know without a doubt that Brooklyn has the best pizza and bagels.
You can't even think about eating out of state because you don't know what their food may taste like. You know for a fact that a "pizza" and a "bagel" aren't really what they say they are if they aren't from Brooklyn.
14. You visit Coney Island once in a while.
Sure, it's nice to go to the famous Coney Island. Maybe, if you're in a good mood you'll even stop and get a Nathan's hot dog (mostly done in winter because summer lines are way too long.) You know to go far down on the beach to avoid the crowds, and on a summer night, you may even see fireworks. But, you'll never actually attend the hot dog eating contest, because gross. You also won't go to a Cyclones game, because, it's over-rated to support a minor league home team.
15. You don't realize how much you like Brooklyn until you leave it.
Brooklyn will always be home no matter how far you go. Whether it's leaving for college or just moving on to another state, you know that Brooklyn will always have a special place in your heart.
