I've been an anxious mess for quite some time now. With all that anxiety-filled time, I've realized 15 things that make me head-over-heels in anxiety. If you're a generally anxious person, you'll relate.
1. Walking through crowds.
I don't know why this one makes me so anxious, but walking through tons of people, like at a parade, is one of the worst things to do when you're an anxious mess.
2. Reading aloud.
If you're a generally anxious person, like I am, reading aloud in front of others, especially in a class, where you see your classmates almost every day, is literal hell. I know some people don't mind it, but if I mess up saying one word, I'll go on to think about it for years after the fact.
3. Worrying about how you look.
This might just be me being conceited, but if I'm going out, even on a quick errand, I worry that I look like crap. I'm always scared that I'm going to see someone I know and that they'll judge me on how I'm looking.
4. Going places alone.
I know this is super dumb and I shouldn't care what people think, but I absolutely HATE going places alone because I don't want people judging me and thinking that I'm a loser because I'm out by myself. Sometimes I'll run errands by myself, but I won't go to the mall or in a food place by myself because I'm scared of judgment.
5. Presentations.
This is the thing I've always struggled with. It's even worse than reading aloud because ALL eyes are on you. Group presentations aren't the worst because you're up there with people, but solo presentations make me want to hide in a hole.
6. Sleeping over new places.
I only sleep over people's houses if I'm super comfortable with them. Sleeping is a very vulnerable state and I don't want to be judged for my actions while I'm sleeping (aka snoring). If I sleep over your house, I'm 100% comfortable with you.
7. Feeling like I'm losing friends if we haven't talked in a while.
I'm usually not a high maintenance friend. I go days without talking to some of my friends, but I still consider us super close. However, every once in a while, I get super paranoid that my friends hate me if they haven't texted me in a week if we usually talk almost every day.
8. Eating in front of others that I'm not comfortable with.
This one might be really weird, but I feel so self conscious about the way I eat. If I'm not comfortable with you, I'll probably eat something that promises no mess.
9. Dating.
OY. Everything about dating makes me anxious.
10. Stating opinions.
People say I'm super quiet in groups, and I'm not going to lie, I am. It's not because I'm not having fun, but because whenever I bring up my opinions, I get super anxious that my opinions are dumb to others. In bigger groups, I won't talk much, but in small groups of up to three people, you should prepare yourself for a full-on debate.
11. Messing up at work.
Everyone messes up every once in a while, but I don't just worry about messing up after the fact. I worry about messing up before it even happens. This usually makes me take a while to perform a task because I'll double or even triple check what I did.
12. Meeting new people.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE meeting new people, but those first couple of minutes of talking to them are CRUCIAL. I'm always worried they're going to hate me.
13. Small talk.
I absolutely hate small talk. You have to tell someone all those small, yet important details of who you are. Sadly, that's what you have to do when you first meet someone, but to be honest, I don't care about it. It's awkward and meaningless. If I care about you, I want to know about the important things and have a deep, meaningful conversation.
14. First days.
First days of school. First days of new jobs. First dates. They all make me an anxious mess. I just want to skip to the part where I'm comfortable.
15. Confrontations.
Fights. Breaking up with someone. Talking about what's bothering me. Those definitely are not me.
All in all, I'm an anxious mess, but we all get anxious at one point or another. The important thing is to not let your anxiety keep you from living your best life.
