I am an extrovert, but I am also an introvert. I like to call myself an extroverted introvert. You see, for myself, I grew up quite introverted, I was not very talkative, I didn't have a huge friend group that I hung out with all the time, and quite frankly I really valued the time that I had to myself growing up. However, I did exemplify some of the qualities that are typically associated with an extrovert in high school: I was a three sport athlete, very active in both band and choir, president of my high school's National Honor Society, and was involved in many other student organizations. These extroverted qualities developed a lot towards the end of my high school career after I came out and moved away from my home town (this is not to blame my hometown by any means), and today I would consider myself to be quite extroverted. Still though, I consider myself to exemplify my introverted qualities, especially through my very anxious and overactive mind. This combinations poses a few issues in not only my own life, but anyone else who considers themselves an introvert and an extrovert. That being said, here is a list of 15 things that all of us extroverted introverts or introverted extroverts can relate to.
1. Waking up in the morning, sitting in bed, and questioning everything from the day before.
This can be whether we should have gone out for drinks with our friends, wondering if we offended someone when we were joking, maybe we should have called that person instead of texted. It can be anything, whenever we wake up we will think about it and wonder if we made the right decision.
2. Loving being around people, but absolutely needing our own space and time.
We thrive on the energy of others. If we are out with a group of people that are all having a great time, we are having a great, sometimes even better, time. There are times though when we just need to be left alone. It varies for all of us when this is, but we need to be left alone, just let us be.
3. Our mind races at the absolute worst times.
Oh you have a paper you need to finish in two hours? Nope. Exam tomorrow that you need to finish studying for? Nope. Our anxious minds sometimes keep us from really keeping focusing on the things that are important at the time. To me, I think this stems from our extroverted selves wanting to be out with friends or our introverted selves wanting to just Netflix and Chill with our best friend, pizza.
4. There are days when we really care, and days that we could care less.
Similar to number two, there are days whenever we take what we are doing in our lives so seriously and we want to be successful, but then there are other days where we wouldn't really care if it all came tumbling down.
5. Dating can pose a few problems.
We think, A LOT. Explaining this can be very hard. We're not insecure, over-invested, control freaks by any means, we just always have a lot on our mind.
6. It doesn't take a lot to make us feel special.
It really is the little things with us. The smallest gesture of kindness or adoration can make us feel absolutely amazing.
7. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot to make us feel unwanted.
I think the degree of this varies from person to person depending on how extroverted that person is. We all can have very bold personalities and some of can brush off things very easily, but we all have those times where we just get really stressed out over the littlest things.
8. We don't like talking about our feelings that much.
We don't like to be seen as weak, so we internalize a lot of the issues that we deal with on a daily basis. Then one day it all just comes out. We all try not to do this, but end up doing it anyway.
9. Taking drives by yourself at very odd times, windows down, and music blaring (singing is optional).
There are those times when you just need to go out and drive. This usually results from the need to be alone with your thoughts, why not just go where you want to be.
10. We send lengthy (sometimes multiple) text messages because we don't want to be misperceived.
This can come off as very forwards and sometimes too much for a text conversation, but we would rather seem to care too much than too little, or come off unclear.
11. Speaking of texting, read receipts can be the worst thing in the entire world.
Our overactive minds already think enough as it is. If someone reads our lengthy text messages and we know they saw it, but didn't respond, we immediately begin to think (depending on the situation) that we have said/done something wrong.
12. We think that making ourselves busy will let sleep better at night.
In some cases, this does work, especially for college students who are consistently staying up until 3 AM and just pass out once they hit the bed. However, in many cases our overactive minds will just invade our minds because right before we go to bed is obviously the best to do so.
13. We all have "our person."
This is the person that we can go to with anything knowing that they will not judge, tell us like it is, and we will usually at least somewhat what our next step in life is.
14. Similarly, we all have "our spot/spots."
This is the place or places that we go (more than likely alone) to be with our thoughts. This can be a very specific location, or a general place. For me, I find large cathedrals to be a great place for me (even though I am not that religious) to be a great place, or the cemetery that most of my mom's side of the family is buried at.
15. Our hardest critic, usually ends up being ourself.
We always think about what else we could or should be doing in our lives.
Basically, we are walking contradictions of feelings that really have no idea how to handle our overactive minds. That being said though, we that we are who are for are for a reason, and we would never change ourselves. There may be tough times, but we know that through these we will become the best versions of ourselves, and no one, not even our overactive minds, can take that away from us.