My boyfriend, like many, is a horrible shopper. He constantly splurges on things he doesn't need and gravitates toward all of the wrong stores. Naturally, once it came time for back-to-school shopping, I decided to take him under my wing and show him the ropes of what it's like to be a real marathon shopper.
Although the exhaustion and killer migraines weren't stellar, the experience was fun and taught me a few valuable points that could be of use in the future--points I'll probably forget but could be handy nonetheless.
1. He will beg you to go to his favorite store
Even if it means he won't get that Batman mask, you must not give in.
2. He will get distracted
You may have to drag him away from the Game of Thrones DVDs, and that's okay.
3. His choice of clothing may need a few tweaks
Whatever you do, don't let him buy the bright blue Crocs. He'll thank you later.
4. He'll try reasoning with you
He'll attempt to use those puppy dog eyes, but your stone-cold heart will dodge them with ease.
5. He will start to look for Pokémon
One measly Bellsprout is so not worth a trip to Best Buy.
6. Use this to your advantage
Because who wouldn't go in T.J. Maxx for a Snorlax with a CP of 962?
7. He will take five seconds to pick out his dress clothes
Impressive but a little worrisome. Are they even the right size?
8. He will take five hours to look at the graphic t-shirts
After all, having to choose just one is no fair.
9. He will call his mom to tell her all about the great deal he got on the last Spider-Man shirt
She will be proud.
10. He will also talk non-stop about that discount store you showed him and ask the name of it at least ten times
Ross. The name of the store was Ross--no, not the "Friends" character.
11. He will try to buy a kid's bookbag
I know they look so much cooler and cheaper, but--okay, you can get it.
12. He will get lost at least once
Everyone knows that department stores are secretly mazes.
13. He won't look at the prices
"A pair of pants? Sure, I can buy that. An airplane? I mean, I'll probably have enough money left over."
14. He will be tired
By the time you're done, a day at the mall will feel more like a trip to the gym.
15. He will still come to school with nothing
Because who needs a pencil and paper when you have a brand new Flash t-shirt?
